Imagine browsing your dad's social media page one day and discovering that he had died...months earlier.

That's where my story begins.

Close your eyes and envision all of the best memories you can ever recall about your father or mother, or the person you call mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa.

Imagine how would you feel if that parent (or grandparent) died, and you were never told. This can happen to anyone, and our current laws allow it.

I am my late father's only birth child (an only son). I had a relationship with my father for nearly 50 years. He was married to his 4th wife (not my birth mom). He was a grandfather to my four kids.

He was originally from Appleton, Wisconsin, but later moved to Chicago, then California, while I lived in another state. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he called me to tell me he was opting for chemo, and then urged me not to come out to visit him during that time.

His widow has since indicated she felt I should have dropped everything and traveled out to visit him. My dad and I arranged to visit at a later date, after his initial treatment. Soon after, he received a more positive prognosis, and became more optimistic.

We were in contact about his estate plans and the activities of his grandkids, as recently as days before his death.

He passed away after deteriorating rapidly (days after my last call with him). I learned this only after discovering a eulogy message posted to him on his social media page...several WEEKS later.

I was not notified of his death by his wife, nor by any other member of my family. Nobody contacted me by any means of communication (which they had).

His wife intentionally never published an obituary, then she, and other family members, planned and held a memorial service in my father's honor. I was never informed or invited. Neither were his grandkids. As a result, we were robbed of an opportunity to say a final farewell to a father and grandfather. This is called isolation abuse.

There were no good reasons given to me for not telling me; only excuses. I had to try to explain all of them to my children (his grandkids).

Nearly all of the current state laws here in the U.S. do not classify such isolation abuse by family members (non-notification) as criminal acts, and it makes one wonder, "WHY?"

After all, when young children are emotionally abused we label it 'criminal', and take up a cause to stop it. Why, then, don't we do that when OLDER children are emotionally abused? You don't stop being your parents' child just because you become an adult.

I spoke with numerous funeral directors, including the one who handled my father's arrangements (who was in the business for decades), and not ONE had ever heard of an only child not being notified under my circumstances.

Not one.

Every child has the right to know when a parent goes into critical care, or at the moment when the parent dies. It's a CIVIL right.

The proposed federal law in this petition is to prevent isolation abuse for the benefit of the surviving children (and grandchildren) during the critical care and/or after the death of a parent (or grandparent). In my case, I was the only child, and my children and I were both victims of criminal isolation abuse.

Right now, a process exists which permits a surviving spouse to:
(1) NOT notify the only child/grandchildren of the deceased parent's death,
(2) arrange the deceased parent's burial or cremation without the only child/grandchildren ever being informed, and
(3) conduct a funeral or memorial service for the deceased parent WITHOUT the only child/grandchildren ever being informed.

The surviving spouse does not have to sign any supporting legal documents that explain why the only child/grandchildren are not being notified, nor is the spouse penalized in any way for failing to notify said child/grandchildren.

This process needs to be changed so that it is not possible to withhold all such vital information from the child/grandchildren, who desperately need closure. The burden of proof should be on the surviving spouse to show cause as to why the children were not notified.

A notification provision needs to be added to ALL LAWS AND APPLICABLE BILLS. (As it was in South Dakota and New York).

Ideally, we need a federal law to address both visitation AND notification.

Both me and my children suffered TWO losses: a dear father/grandfather and the opportunity to say a final farewell. 

If you've ever lost a loved one, or know somebody who has, this a call to action. Think of all the things that I (or my kids) could have shared with my father during his final moments before he slipped away.

The worst misery in the world does not come from those who inflict pain, but from those who merely stand by and watch them inflict it.

If avoiding signing petitions (for whatever reason) is your general rule of thumb, I understand, but I respectfully ask that you make an exception here, and please sign...just this once. 

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This is where a new story begins. Please help me write it.

Thank you for your consideration.

...and THANKS, DAD, for never turning down "a catch"