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Grief Support
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I had a very painful miscarriage with our first. When I was expecting our second we had a stillborn. Our third pregancy began with complications. I went in for an ultrasound and was asked when I had my abortion. I broke down so hurt and offend. On the precipice of losing yet a other child the language used was deeply hurtful. So desperately wanting this baby to live I felt accused of disregarding another baby that was also deeply desired.
Leslie supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesMy second miscarriage was coded as a “missed abortion”. My baby no longer had a heartbeat and going home with this diagnosis was nothing short of cruel. My baby was and always will be loved. At no point in time did I attempt to end his or her life. Please change the language of this coding!
Christa supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesI've suffered 2 early miscarriages and a horrific, traumatizing 26 week stillborn. Seeing the "spontaneous abortion" on my records and the bills was like salt on our wounds! Those babies were very much wanted and in no way would I have ever aborted them. Please, change the medical wording, so that it's not hurtful to a family already in pain and sorrow?
Malissa supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesI’ve been spared the pain so many women close to me have had to carry. What I’ve learned is the power of sitting with the mother in her grief. If you can do one small thing like changing the language you use, please take the time to do it out of respect for the mother, the family, and the child.
Emily supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesWhen I first read on my medical report “abortion” I was so confused and hurt. What? I thought the doctor said it was a miscarriage. I don’t remember wanting my baby to die. The wording alone left me feeling hurt, alone, and like I wasn’t being heard or seen. It made me feel shameful, that all doctors will see in the future is that I had an “abortion”. When you go to prenatal and routine gynecologist appointments, the forms ask you how many children, and how many miscarriages you have had in the past, not how many “spontaneous abortions”. Please keep these terms consistent with each other on medical documentation! My medical records don’t reflect the loss I have suffered involuntarily all because of one simple word- abortion.
Bailey supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesI was so dishearten when I had found out how it’s coded. I’ve lost three babies during pregnancy and someone used this very issue to say I’ve had an abortion because of how they code it. 💔
Gretchen supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesI had two early miscarriage, my first two pregnancies out of five, and two others that were suspected. "Spontaneous abortion" may be the proper medical terminology but it was a knife to the heart to see the loss of my very wanted babies described that way. Luckily during treatments, all medical personnel used the term "miscarriage" instead. I read recently that "intrauterine death at x weeks" means literally the same thing as miscarriage or stillbirth, let's use that instead to differentiate between a miscarriage and an elective abortion.
Jennifer supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesI’ve had 5 miscarriages out of 8 pregnancies. The insensitive language and billing code of “spontaneous abortion” further compounds the heartbreak of losing a child. I’ve personally had to call and have medical records corrected as well, due to offices negligently marking “abortion”. It is infuriating that in 2025 we still have very little distinction when thousands of children are lost every year despite being wanted.
Krysta supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesA parent who has suffered the loss of a child doesn’t deserves to be injured over and over by incorrect terminology.
Cara supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesI know a woman who genuinely thought for years that she had an abortion because of this term. She had convinced herself upon hearing this that she had murdered her child. This misconception is not unheard of. I lovingly tried to guide her on the reasons why her miscarriage was not, in fact, an abortion. This was a very well educated woman. I cannot imagine how many other women live with this pain and regret thinking that they aborted their child because of this terminology. A miscarriage is never an abortion but when women are emotionally wrecked from the loss of their baby, these terms do not help and can cause further emotional damage. End the term “spontaneous abortion” and other like it so women can fully understand what has happened to their child.
Caroline supported: Revise ICD Codes to Use Compassionate Language for MiscarriagesYou’re not alone — a community of supporters is ready to back you.
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