Having been a long time advocate for the removal of vitch tits and the mexican minister of defence (disappointment), I thought it was high time that further action should be taken to ensure that these pathetic, waffling, poster-children-for-birth-control halfwits of f1 drivers should be stopped once and for all.

 By signing this petition, you recognise that you have contributed to ending world hunger, French civil war, jos verstappen’s parenting skills, and have shown that you won’t put up with sub-par maple syrup or soggy churros in this sport.

Let’s end the era of bad drivers kept in F1 due to capitalistic menacious turnips like vitch tits Sr and so on. Let’s make the world a better place for our children. Do your duty. Sign to make F1 healthier and better. Sign to save the whales. Sign to keep our beloved sport’s reputation out of chuntering pig’s mouths and show that we mean business. This sport has long been tarnished, even before Stroll’s malformed baby bottom saw the light, by drivers who paid their way into the cockpit. And I say no more. 

If you signed this petition, recognise that you have contributed towards history and are now, by my standards, a sexy beast. Ciao mfs.

EDIT: As of 18 December 2024 it has been announced that Sergio Perez is to be booted out of Red Bull in favour of Liam Lawson. Good work people.