Former Stardom star and now-AEW star Thekla is amazing, beautiful, evil and perfect and is dating super hot heart throb Clark Connors. But she should be dating pro wrestling-obsessed opinion guy and co-host of Sit Down Shut Up Mark Out! podcast I. Blade Daily. 

This is not because Clark has done anything wrong. He could kill I. Blade Daily and very well may after reading this. But Mr. Daily is willing to take that risk probably. We'll know after this is posted. Clark is young and there's a lot of eligible ladies out there that would give him whatever he wants. Mr. Daily, while smoking hot, is getting old and only has a few years left of silver fox eligibility before he will inevitably end up old and feeble and in need of round the clock care.

This is where Thekla comes in!

Thekla is young, gorgeous, and terrifying. She is a Toxic Spider. The fear she would strike in to Mr. Daily's heart on a daily basis could trigger fight or flight and keep him virile. What Mr. Daily lacks in rock hard abs, financial stability, wrestling ability, or dedication to a craft, he more than makes up for in wholly unearned entitlement and worship of Thekla. Who wouldn't want that?!

Please sign this petition.