Ricardo Menéndez March is an incoming New Zealand Member of Parliament for the pragmatic, environment-focused, slightly left-of-centre Green party, also known as "the one with the sensible transport policy to finally bring us into line with other countries when it comes to trains" or "the party that does at least something more than virtue-signal about climate change."  

Ricardo has only been bopping around Parliament for about three days and he's already made several excellent jokes that have pissed off exactly the right kind of people: all 300 individuals who fit squarely in the Venn diagram of racists/ monarchists/people who think starting Change.org petitions while tweeting ten thousand times a day has the slightest effect on the body politic. 

The first tweet entailed the following: "mfw they show me affirmation of allegiance to the queen" with a Chihuahua doing a squinting "what" face.

The second tweet entailed the following: "I love this picture of Queen" showing a picture of Queen, the band, trending on Twitter.

Alongside this, he has been making hilarious statements, for example when he went to parliament, the first thing he said "there are a lot of white men here". Which is a completely unnecessary and extremely true thing to say.

In doing this, Ricardo has already achieved more than 90 percent of all other serving MPs. He has eclipsed Sir John Key, whose achievements over the course of nine years of government totaled exacerbating a housing crisis and failing to change a flag. Also, Sir Key's jokes were not as good as Ricardo's. 

For showing exactly the deference deserved by an archaic, colonialist, imperialist, incestuous, born-to-rule institution like the British Monarchy: we, the undersigned, petition that Ricardo Menéndez March be given a knighthood. 

It'll be like rain on his wedding day, or a free ride, when he's already paid.