I think I speak for everyone when I say that I have no idea how the Supreme Court works. What better way to get someone like me involved than getting everyone's favorite Merc with a Mouth to replace the recently deceased Antonin Scalia as the newest Supreme Court Justice?

Deadpool has, since his debut in 1991, been an unwavering R-rated, fourth-wall breaking, no nonsense character. Is it just a coincidence that Justice Scalia died the same weekend Deadpool's movie shattered records with an unprecedented $130 million debut?

Maybe.

Or maybe it was a sign from the heavens that change is needed everywhere, and not just in stuffy ol' Hollyweird! Just imagine what C-Span's ratings will be once Deadpool joins the cast of the Supreme Court's show!

Now, you may remember me from earlier petitions like "Let me use an anime character for my legal ID photo" or "Gun Control? What We Need Are More Guns And More Swords" or "By no means should I ever have to use my real name on the internet", but truly, this is the most important cause I've fought for in my 17 years on this planet.

I, like many of my generation, have always heard of Roe vs Wade, but how many of us truly know who won? Now, imagine if the Wade in question was Wade Wilson, the sassin' assassin! We'd all know how that shit went down! It'd be even more historic and worth remembering!

Deadpool's antics on the Supreme Court just write themselves. Picture his meeting Ruth Bader Ginsberg for the first time. 

"Hello, I'm Ruth Bader Ginsburg."

"Did you say Darth Vader Ginsburg? Like the Sith Lord and the guy who sliced off his nipple in the final season of Mad Men?"

(Deadpool would then look at the camera and mug; at least one audience member would say "Mad Men" while giggling to show that he understood the joke even though he probably didn't and would fight anyone who would accuse him of not knowing what it meant)

What about Clarence Thomas?

"Hello, I'm Clarence Thomas."

*Deadpool puts his hand in his pants and violently tugs off all of his pubic hair and throws it in Clarence Thomas's face*

And last but not least, Sonia Sotomayor!

"Hello, I'm Sonia Sotomayor."

"Do you have CHIMICHANGAS?????"

Oh, man. It would be great. At least I think so. I haven't actually seen the movie, and my exposure to Deadpool before now has mostly been through Marvel Vs. Capcom games. Plus, the R rating has made it pretty tough. I've bought at least three tickets to Zoolander 2 in order to sneak into Deadpool but I haven't been able to muster the courage to walk in. They might tell my parents if they find me, or worse, the girls at school could find out I bought Zoolander tickets. Isn't Zoolander gay? I don't want that reputation. It's bad enough the first time I tried to see it I bought a ticket to How To Be Single. I smirked the whole time I was at the box office so they could tell I wasn't really into seeing the movie, but man, I had no idea that movies for girls could be rated R.

I'll probably watch it on bootleg when I get a chance. I have a cousin named Dave who gets all the good movies on bootleg, sometimes before they even come out. I saw Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice a couple months ago. I won't tell you how it ends, because I don't want to ruin any surprises. But it's really good and I saw it first.

As Stan Lee, creator of Deadpool says, "Face it, True Believers!", Deadpool makes everything better! As I've clearly illustrated, he would be a perfect fit for the Supreme Court of the United States of America or as running mate for Bernie Sanders.  As all of the leading Redditors, totally non-sexist guys on Twitter, and renowned Destiny player Triple Wreck will tell you, Bernie's the real deal! Imagine what he can do with Deadpool by his side. As the song said: "It might be nice, it might be nice, with Deadpool on your side!"

Let's make this happen, Change.org. Let's use this powerful tool for it's highest potential and succeed where other petitions have tried. Petitions such as "Have Deadpool Host SNL" or "Keep Deadpool Rated R" or "Make a PG-13 Deadpool for that one kid" or "Make fun of the people who signed the PG-13 petition" (a real thing) or "Have Marvel and Netflix make a Deadpool cartoon" or "Make a sequel to the Deadpool video game" or "Release an X rated Deadpool along with the R rated version" or "Get a theater to serve chimichangas at Deadpool screenings" or "Nominate Deadpool for the Nobel Peace Prize" or "Get Henry Rollins to play Cable".