Hi all I have been trying to gain access to my pension under the ill health scheme.

Unfortunately both parties involved have dragged this out for almost 13 weeks with problems such as them filling the wrong paper work or blaming each other for not being given the right information.i have been repeatedly ignored and felt like im not even a human being I honestly feel like a ghost 

This is a brief description of my conditions and how they affect me daily 

Sarcoidosis with pulmonary involvement and viral lymphadenopathy(incurable)

Fibromyalgia (incurable)

Lumbar spondylosis (incurable)

depression and anxiety which I take 120mg of duloxetine for daily

And have recently been diagnosed with calcification tendinitis in my right shoulder 

I sleep on the sofa as I have been unable to climb my stairs for over 9 months my wife has to help me get dressed as I can no longer dress my bottom half on my own.my wife will also leave me prepared food as I am unable to complete this on my own I can not get in or out of the bath tub as due to the back pain it is extremely painful for me to do so and my wife can not lift me 

,I can not use the shower because I am unable to stand still as it makes my back feel like it is breaking.i am in constant pain 24 hours a day even wearing clothes or a duvet can cause me pain my body constantly feels like its on fire. i canot be in a room with bright lights or anywhere that is too loud as this sends me into massive panic attacks,i honestly dont leave my house.

at 36 years old I am unable to do the simplest of tasks,I am unable to do any of the things I enjoyed going to the park with my children or dogs walks with my wife.and that is where the depression started i mean im 36 and the furthest i can walk is to the shop at the end of my road only if i use a walking stick.i need you to understand just how useless i feel im in a constant state of fear and am filled with a constant feeling of dread.

im going to be completely honest with you there have been times where the pain has been so bad I have thought about ending my life.i had a glimpse of hope when I thought I could access my pension early not just to have money in my bank but to make home adjustments to make my quality of life better for me and most important to me my family so I start to feel some things that most take for granted such as sharing a bed with my wife sitting on my kids bed to read them a story before bed or just lying in a hot bath.

My ultimate goal here is for the next person who has no other choice but to try and gain access to there pension because of ill health don't have to experience what I have