Save the Hoffmann’s Two-toed Sloth, NOW!

0 have signed. Let’s get to 100!

The Hoffmann's Two-toed sloth is a biological catastrophe, like every other sloth species. The only reason these creatures haven't been bred out of existence is because other animals are too embarrassed to hunt them; not to mention the pangs of sympathy all sentient beings are forced to tolerate when they gaze at these pathetic, lethargic lumps of innocuous flesh. Sloths are bigger compassion whores than a Facebook addict after a bad breakup. 

So why should you save them? Because you can. As a puny human being with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, it is your duty to defend the little guys, as long as it doesn't take too much effort. And thanks to the internet, it won't. Your contribution to seeing this through to the end will be restricted to clicking, which, to be fair, is 77.565464% of what you do all day.

Once this petition receives 7 billion supporters, it will, somehow, be sent to Optimus Prime, who will become a truck and solve all of our problems. So save this randomly chosen species of sloth, because you need a reason to rage.