HOW DARE SHE:

Leave

Be believed 

Stay safely in her own home 

Access her own money 

Speak up

Defend herself and her children 

Name her perpetrator

Live free from control and abuse 

Expect equality or justice 

Be safe

Live! 

The most dangerous place for women and children is in our own homes. Leaving unleashes fury, revenge debt, smear campaigns, orchestrated homelessness, legal abuse, the weaponisation of children and murder.

Leaving is the most dangerous time for victims. One woman per week is murdered by their perpetrator. Murder is the ultimate act of silencing and control.

We are begging the Australian Government to end this national crisis!

PROTECT US FROM MEN’S VIOLENCE!

Victims should not have to flee our homes, our lives and hide in refuges. We need the perpetrator removed from the home and enforce perpetrator accountability and intervention. 

The onus has always been on the victim to defend herself and protect her children. 

When victim survivors speak out we face backlash; resistance, disbelief, vilification and punishment on numerous fronts.

We are silenced, victim blamed and victim shamed instead of being heard, validated and believed. The systems replicate this abuse.

Perpetrators are not easily identifiable. They craft and project a very different public persona to the abuser behind closed doors.

The perpetrator denies and lies to cover up for their abusive behaviour choices indicating they are very much aware their behaviour is wrong. Perpetrators blame shift to avoid responsibility.  

They manipulate other people and systems to abuse by proxy. He flips the narrative using the DARVO strategy (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender). 

Men who harm their children and their children's mother, are not good fathers. Domestic Violence is a parenting choice. Children are always victims in their own right.

Nothing will change until men who choose to abuse are held accountable by society. This includes being held to account by parents, siblings, mates, bosses and co-workers who often enable them.

We need the whole community standing together to acknowledge violence and control will no longer be tolerated. 

Women are advised to leave though there are few supports for us once we leave. The perpetrator continues to control the victim post separation using family, friends, schools, workplaces, banking, police, Child Protection, Centrelink, Child Support, ATO, family law and other systems to continue to harm and control their victims (including weaponising their own children).

Currently the systems charged with protecting us harm us further, behaving in the same patriarchal and coercively controlling ways as the perpetrators.

Government funding has not been reaching victims or stopping violence against women and children.

We cannot practically help victims of domestic, family and sexual violence whist police fail victims and perpetrators weaponise the family law system with no consequence. 

We need safe spaces to report. Police stations are not safe or trauma informed spaces.

Police often misidentify the victim as the perpetrator. This is far more prevalent for First Nations women. 

We need early identification of the person using violence and evidence briefs prepared at the victim survivors pace. We should not have to use our life’s savings and our superannuation to pay to protect ourselves and our children. 

If he’s not charged she’s blamed and labeled a liar rather than police blamed for not doing their jobs. Breaches of Protection Orders consistently go unpunished.

Family Courts are not trauma informed and not equipped to deal with domestic, family and sexual violence.  Family court is causing horrific trauma, PTSD and brain injury. 

Victims who have a house as an asset or are working don't qualify for legal aid but often have no access to money. Most victims do not have access to appropriate legal support.

Federal Circuit and Family Court judges are overruling Child Protection findings and Protection Orders rendering hard won protections useless. Victim survivors are Court Ordered into constant contact and to coparent with our rapists and abusers.

Perpetrators and their lawyers commit perjury with no consequence. Unethical lawyers drag proceedings out causing financial decimation for victims to hike up billable hours 

Family lawyers and judges are largely responsible for the domestic violence induced homeless crisis and the financial decimation of women. 

Perpetrators and their lawyers use debunked Parental Alienation Syndrome creating a false narrative of an unfit, mentally ill mother to counter disclosures of domestic, family and sexual violence to remove children from protective mothers via Family Court custody orders.

Family Courts are adversarial, mired in misogyny and victim blaming. Mothers are continually suffering the cruelty of having their children Court Ordered into the sole custody of fathers children have disclosed have sexually abused them.

The perpetrator is emboldened by the very systems that should protect victims.

The true costs of DFSV cannot be quantified. What are our lives and safety worth? 

Perpetrators have been invisible and protected long enough!

Men harm women because they can!

Because they get away with it.

Because it's accepted!

We must share our stories of pre and post separation abuse to highlight the trauma caused by systemic failure and failure to listen and protect within our own communities and families.

We must build a justice system based on equality and respect. FAMILY JUSTICE CENTRES are working in many countries. They are survivor centric and trauma informed. 

GIVE US A PUBLIC PROTECTION ORDER REGISTER to deter men from using violence and so that communities can be aware and informed. 

MONITOR AND TRACK DANGEROUS MEN. 

FINANCIALLY SUPPORT US TO REMAIN IN OUR OWN HOMES amongst our neighbours, schools, workplaces and community supports.

MAKE REVENGE DEBT A CRIME. 

FINANCIALLY SUPPORT US WITH MORTGAGES THAT WORK FOR SINGLE MUMS, for those of us who’ve had our homes stolen and suffered financial abuse. 

ENFORCE ANNUAL TAX RETURNS AND POWERS TO TRACK HIDDEN MONEY. 

MAKE CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS ACCRUE INTEREST AND PENALTIES FOR NON PAYMENT. 

REMOVE BLUE CARDS FROM MEN WITH PROTECTION ORDERS. 

FUND APPROPRIATE LEGAL AND SPECIALIST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WORKERS TO GUIDE POLICE SUPPORT for swift intervention with breaches of protection orders for victims to achieve safety, recover and rebuild. 

We ask for an URGENT SENATE INQUIRY INTO MISCONDUCT AND THE ABUSE OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THE FEDERAL CIRCUIT AND FAMILY COURT OF AUSTRALIA. 

REPEAL SECTION 121 of the Family Law Act so that victims of Family Court Abuse can speak their truth and heal.  

DISCIPLINE AND REMOVE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND FAMILY REPORT WRITERS WHO HARM FOR BENEFIT. 

We ask for the immediate establishment of the awaited INDEPENDENT FEDERAL JUDICIAL COMMISSION. 

We ask for ADEQUATE FUNDING FOR TRAUMA RECOVERY. 

We ask to be heard and for an APOLOGY from the Prime Minister for the systemic abuse we have endured.

We ask to RETURN CHILDREN wrongfully removed from victims of domestic violence. 

The sheer magnitude of the injustice is staggering. Women’s and children’s lives matter! 

We need everyone walking in the same direction towards safe homes, schools, work places and communities. 

Please SIGN AND SHARE to demand change and save lives. 

These are bold changes because what we’ve been doing is not working. 

Listen to victim survivors - we know what we need. 

Let us lead the solutions.

Fund survivor led solutions.