Since we are now in the business of unilaterally renaming massive, international bodies of water based on political whims, it is time to correct a massive geographical oversight.
Recently, President Trump magnanimously rebranded Lake Ontario as "Lake America"—a move that surely solved the trade war and left Canada shaking in its hiking boots. But "Lake America" is shared with our northern neighbors, making it compromised. If we are going to brand the Great Lakes with political egos, we need to go bigger. We need to go superior.
We demand that Lake Superior be officially renamed Lake Obama.
Why Lake Obama is the only logical choice:
It’s Literally "Superior": If one side gets a lake, the other side deserves a lake that is objectively bigger, deeper, and colder—just like a standard political debate.
It’s the Cleanest Lake: Lake Superior is famous for being incredibly clear and pristine, making it the perfect metaphor for a political legacy completely free of any controversial drone strikes or healthcare website crashes. Clean water, clean record!
A Real Flex on Canada: Lake Superior borders Ontario, Canada. By naming it Lake Obama, we ensure that every time Canadians look across the border, they are forced to remember the 44th President. It's the ultimate passive-aggressive foreign policy.
It Fits the Brand: Trump got the Gulf of Mexico and Lake Ontario. It is only fair that Obama gets the lake that holds 10% of the world's surface fresh water. Because why look at a map to learn geography when you can look at a map to see who won the news cycle?

Sign this petition to show the world that when it comes to petty, ego-driven, international border-straining geographical rebranding, we can play that game too.