Music lovers of Gambier,

I write to you in the form of a proposal, and a manifesto. A manifesto to reject the mainstream, and its close cousin the alternative. To throw off the chains of coolness, of capitalism, of electronic fakery, in a dionysian celebration of nerdiness and lameness. To unite the college in an ecstasy of mid 2000s alt rock.

To bring Weezer to Summer Sendoff.

Many of you may have questions. Such as, why not go through the normal channels? Sign the forms, talk to the Social Board, blah blah blah? To that I say: didn't I just call for a banishment of normality? Why give into bureaucracy when one can achieve the same ends through a flashy, virtue-signaling, slightly less effective mode of activism? Such as, say, sending a petition to allstu.

But what do I mean by activism? Well, ponder this. What are we gathered here for? We come to the hill to expand our minds and challenge the systems that bind us. We come to the hill to give a middle finger to impossibility and kick the status quo in the balls. Is that not what I am asking? Remember, we could just have another passing one-hit-wonder gracing the greatest of stages at the end of the school year. (no offense to passing one-hit-wonders, of course). Or we could use our collective forces to summon the greatest of musical memelords, the very voice of ironic middle-class banality, to this overgrown cathedral of Philander Chase we know and love. What better way to celebrate the unspoken absurdities of private-college life than collectively witnessing the wonder of Weezer?

All i'm asking is five seconds of your time. To click a few buttons and minorly inflate the numbers on the screen. A number which, if large enough, is sure to shock the pants off the titans at Social Board. A number which, if large enough, will put this movement on the national stage. Rolling Stone Magazine itself may just do a piece on the little nothing college that managed to entice Weezer to its end-of-the-year music festival.

How cool would that be?

So sign below. Phone a friend. Put up a poster. Spam your social media. The sooner we start, the bigger we can get. 

Its time for #weezerforsendoff .