Petition for the Immediate Rehabilitation and Reinstatement of Kingsi [GER] into the European Slapshot League

To the highly esteemed, profoundly deliberating, and obviously overworked leadership of the European Slapshot League,

we, the undersigned citizens of this Earth, the Milky Way, and all neighboring galaxies, raise our voices today against an injustice that will go down in the annals of sports history — right next to the Handball Gate of 2018 and the legendary Deflection Scandal of Minsk.

Kingsi, known by his full battle name "Kingsi [GER]", has been banned from the ranks of the EUSL. The reason? A country tag. Three letters. G-E-R. As if one would ban Cristiano Ronaldo because "Portugal" has too many vowels.

The EUSL Rule Commission, consisting of at least three individuals in a conference room with too much coffee and too little to do, determined that the tag "[GER]" posed a danger. To whom? To what? This remains unanswered to this day, much like the question of why hockey jerseys always smell so bad.

Kingsi has harmed no one. Kingsi did not fire a puck with excessive force into anyone's front garden. Kingsi did not attempt to destabilize the international monetary system. Kingsi simply — and this is the heart of this unprecedented tragedy — wore the letter G, followed by E, followed by R, in square brackets after his name. Just like millions of other people who happen to be from Germany, without ever having been asked for permission.

We therefore demand:

The immediate reinstatement of Kingsi [GER] into the EUSL
A public apology, written in at least four languages, including Klingon
An internal training session for the EUSL moderation team on the topic of "What is a country tag and why is it not a threat"
A statue of Kingsi [GER] in the lobby of EUSL headquarters, provided that it exists
Sign now. For justice. For the sport. For the square brackets.

#FreeKingsi #GERisnothate #UnbanTheLegend