Miscarriage, as those who have experienced it will know, is so much more than the loss of a pregnancy. It's the loss of joy, excitement, happiness, hope, dreams. You can be left feeling like your whole world has come crashing down. You can have no idea what to do with this sudden devastation; you can feel lost and hopeless, your heart torn into pieces, confused, angry. For some, it can be a completely soul destroying experience.

As far as I am aware, and I have searched and searched, there is little to no support provided by the NHS that is tailored to meet the needs of couples who have experienced pregnancy loss, whether it be though ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, chemical pregnancy, early miscarriage, missed miscarriage, late miscarriage. Pregnancy loss at any stage should come under the same category as any other loss classed as bereavement. It's a loss, no matter how big or small, you have lost someone you loved from the second you saw that positive test, someone you've imagined and pictured and dreamt about, someone you may have seen on a screen or someone whose heart you have heard, someone who you may have felt inside you. They were there. They were real. And now they're gone.

Women/men/couples who have experienced pregnancy loss once, twice or multiple times, are left feeling like their whole world has been turned upside down. Their feelings, both emotionally and physically, can be intense and unbearable. Quite often, they can be diagnosed as having some form of depression and given some anti-depressants. Medication works for a lot of people, but for some, more is needed - CBT is offered on the NHS and you can self-refer yourself. I completed a 6 week course of CBT after my first loss and although it was helpful in many ways, it did not tackle my overwhelming feelings of grief, heartbreak and hopelessness around my losses. I have since saught counselling in my local area but again this was not tailored to meet specific support surrounding pregnancy loss and I was having to pay for this privately.

A further two losses plus two lots of surgery, two A&E trips with severe haemorrhage and numerous panic attacks (one so severe that I ended up in hospital convinced I was having a heart attack) and I am still sat here trying to come to terms with what has happened with nowhere to turn. The hospital EPAU (Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit) that I was under literally said to me "we don't offer that kind of support" and my GP, every single time, tells me to "take promazine", even after telling me I am suffering with symptoms of severe anxiety and PTSD. I am genuinely shocked at the lack of follow up care and support that women/men/couples receive following what is for many the most traumatic experience they have ever faced. Whichever way your miscarriage is managed, most times you are sent home with a leaflet about what to expect and a list of websites you can look at, some condoms and that is about it. You might get a letter weeks or months afterwards offering the hospital's condolences on your recent miscarriage, but out of the three losses I have experienced with the same hospital this was only sent about three months after the first one. 

Luckily, there are wonderful charities like Tommy's and The Miscarriage Association who can provide help and support, especially with their forums and live chat, but they do not generally offer counselling and I whole-heartedly feel that this should be available through the NHS. 

Please provide better, tailored, free support on the NHS for families coping with this kind of grief. They need it and they deserve it.