To create a brand that will resonate with the future generation, it’s time to rethink the current Denver Nuggets mascot. By changing the current mascot to a chicken nugget, the Nuggets will reach a wider, more enthusiastic demographic.

As a current chicken nugget aficionado, I am the perfect person to serve this role. I would dunk myself into different sauce to bring joy to the nation. As an added benefit, I’m chicken nugget shaped— perfect for the role. This change also comes with the potential to milk the fat pockets of corporate sponsors who will want their chicken goods served to your fans. There is gold in chicken.

Additionally, I know numerous people who love chicken nuggets and basketball. It is a winning combination. I know for a fact my niece would stab someone for a chicken nugget (with a fork of course), so imagine the loyalty of future fans if you make this change.

Let the Denver Nuggets be represented by the kind of nuggets America loves best. And let me rock that costume to bring cheer to the crowds who will in turn cheer for the team.