Leave Europe NOW
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On Thursday 23 June, 2016, 17.5 million UK citizens voted to leave the European Union. But the clear will of the British people is under threat from career politicians and elites who seek to undermine us.
Since the referendum, the exact definition of "Brexit" has been distorted by sheer technicality. Did we mean the EU? The EEA? EFTA? ECHR? The European Council? Enough is enough. We, the undersigned, demand the UK leaves Europe for good.
We must refuse to pay the "divorce bill" that we are contractually obliged to pay. Then, using the £350 million a week savings estimated by the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson MP, we must begin work on the most ambitious engineering project the world has ever seen, turning coastal East Anglia into an engine that will finally liberate us from the prison of continental Europe.
The great engine of Norfolk and Suffolk will create thousands of British jobs, and once constructed will enable us to say "bon voyage" to Europe and set sail for our new home: Asia. Travelling south-west at an average speed of 1 mile per hour (we'll leave kilometres in Europe, thanks!), it will take us less than 2 years to sail the 14404 miles to the eastern border of the Indian Ocean, just north of New Zealand and east of Australia.
Not only will this finally restore ties with Her Majesty's subjects in the Oceanian Commonwealth, but once permanently in Asia we'll start to see a whole host of changes for the better. The East Asian economy, perhaps the largest and best performing in the world, will be on our doorstep, and our football teams will be freed from the corruption of UEFA to compete in the AFC Asian Cup, giving us a much-improved chance of international silverware (even in Scotland).
Tourism will boom once coastal spots like Whitby, Blackpool, and Canvey Island become tropical paradises. Package holidays to Malta and Majorca will be replaced by Japan and Australia, and the weather generally will be so nice that the domestic holiday makes a long-overdue comeback.
The will of the people must not be ignored. We demand this plan be immediately enshrined in law so we can look forward to a better and brighter future for our country. Britannia shall rule the waves once more.
Please sign and share this petition with the hashtag #Brexit2Asia
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