(this is just a joke) 

To: Felix "xQc" Lengyel (AKA "The Juicer", AKA "The JuiceLord", AKA "Excuse C", AKA "D Bunker", AKA "D Reactor")
I am angry that xqc is not online at the agreed upon schedule. For too long, offline chatters have been led on and left out to dry, staring at a blank screen instead of being welcomed to the jungle. This injustice cannot be allowed to continue. Juicers must make a stand now before the next 24-hour reset stream is upon us.

The Grievances:

• The "Excuse C" Paradox: We receive endless daily justifications for the delays, promises of tomorrow's "on time" stream, yet the schedule remains broken.
• The "D Reactor" Pipeline: When he finally arrives, he mutates into the "D Reactor," watching hours of mind-numbing videos.
• The Halfway Bait-and-Switch: He promises a playthrough of a highly anticipated game, only to rage-quit halfway through.
• Total European Erasure: He shows a complete disregard for European juicers, forcing them to ruin their sleep schedules or wake up to a sudden offline screen.
• Economic Despair: Millions of channel points sit stagnant with no gamba and no payouts.
• Severe Nutritional Deficiencies: Chatters are starving and the juice is running completely dry.
• The Incomprehensible Filibuster: He spends the first 45 minutes of the stream speaking at 400 words per minute, arguing with a single 1-viewer chatter in the chat about a completely irrelevant topic.

Our Demands:

The Mandatory Custodial Cleanliness Sweep: For every hour the stream is delayed, he must spend 10 minutes live on camera cleaning the garbage hoard surrounding his gaming chair.
D Reactor Quota: A strict 1 hour maximum limit on TikTok and video footage reactions per stream.
EU Protection Acts: At least two streams per week must start during daylight hours in European time zones.
The Finish-What-You-Start Mandate: If a game is started, "Excuse C" must play it for a minimum of three hours before quitting.
The D Reactor Tax: Every hour spent reacting to random videos adds 500 gifted subs to the community.

Sign this petition to end the offline oppression. We want the juice, we want the jungle, and we want it on time. Thank you for your attention to this matter. xQcL