As a Birth Mother of two babies placed for adoption, I have experienced first hand Adoption at its worst. The adoptive parents, who once made numerous commitments to maintain an open relationship with me, now refuse to uphold our agreements made on many occasions over the span of two adoptions and 7 years. They exploited my vulnerability and have used any excuse to sever contact between me and my children contrary to our agreement. They broke our "openness agreement", which is not enforceable by law and refuse any mediation or counseling to restore my relationship with my children who have come to know me as "Aunty Susan". The last words my daughter said to me 3 years ago were, "Are you coming home with us?" showing a very clear desire to be close to her birth family. Anybody who is trying to turn a child away from their actual family, is abusing that child under false altrusim. We see this in broken families where mothers or fathers who are angry at their co-parent, attempt to turn the children against them, and we see how devastating this is for the child to be so conflicted because they are being taught to turn against their very DNA that makes them who they are. Birth families are not replaceable contrary to Adoptive practices and broken promises will always create broken children. Most of us mothers would have never chosen adoption if it weren't for the serious commitments we believed the adoptive parents promised us about our children. How is it that two people can go to Las Vegas, get drunk and have a drive through wedding, and yet that commitment, not involving the futures on little children, has more legal consequences when broken than an agreement between adoptive parents and birth families? This is a disgusting imbalance of legislature.

When I offered them an opportunity for a second child, in order to give my daughter a biological sibling, they promised me I could see them “anytime I was in the area” and said they wanted to bring them out to see "where I lived". Before the ink was dry on the adoption paper, they had completely cut me off from all contact with my children and wouldn't even allow me to to say goodbye on my way back home, 25 hours away.

This is not just my story; it's a narrative shared by countless birth mothers across the country who are left in emotional turmoil due to the lack of enforcement of open adoption agreements and being manipulated and coerced to give up our children by Adoptive parents, Adoption Agencies and Churches, while being promised an active role in their lives. They propose an Open Adoption to frantic and distressed birth mothers, most of whom are in very difficult situations, as an avenue to give the children a stable home while staying in their life, but few if any open adoptions remain open. Agencies don't inform birth mothers on the impact the adoption will have on their own mental and emotional health, or the detrimental impact it has on adoptees mental and emotional health also. They do not disclose the studies that show adoptees are 4 times more likely to committ suicide and various other reports that are all alarming statistics. It is time we demand a change.

We call upon lawmakers to require all open adoptions to maintain a relationship with the birth family as per the birth mother and father's requests, for the sake of the biological needs of the child. This should be legally binding, with an access order in place allowing for regular visits as requested by the birth family. If these conditions are not met, there should be provisions made for revoking the adoption.

Furthermore, it is crucial that all Adoption Agencies inform Birth Mothers about potential risks associated with adoption and permanent emotional damage following placement based on previous studies conducted on birth mothers' and adoptees experiences (source: American Psychological Association). 

The current system allows adoptive parents too much leeway in disregarding their initial commitments without facing any consequences. It leaves many birth mothers feeling exploited and helpless, and adoptees become abductees, through forced biological isolation which is proven to exhibit the same emotional and psychological impact as children that have been physically and sexually abused. This needs to change for everyone’s benefit. 

Please sign this petition if you believe in justice for all parties involved in an open adoption process - especially those most vulnerable like us birth mothers and adoptees whose biological needs are completely disregarded by Adoption Acts. We need to start offering vulernable birth mothers with joint guardianship if they are needing assistance with their children, and are not fully able to raise them. We also need to protect birth fathers rights, and make sure they are well informed of their children, and allow them access also. We need to stop adoption agencies from pushing adoption and start a whole new process of ADD-OPTION, where families are brought together not torn apart, so somebody can use another persons child as a Band aid for their infertility, and instead of it being about what the adoptive parents want, the arrangement is aligned with the best interests of the children, based on previous adoptees experiences, and studies on adoptees that prove biological isolation is NOT in their best interests.

Antiquated adoption laws that have not significantly changed at all since open adoptions became more prevalent and drastically changed the needs of all parties, are not meeting the needs of today's birth families and adoptees. Anything that doesn’t grow, is dead, and how can we expect children and their families to be healthy when they are held hostage in a dead system with no life or growth in it. Adoptees are FOUR TIMES more likely to commit suicide then their non adopted counterparts and nobody is doing anything about it. Why are we still sitting in silence?