Daughters Need Their Fathers Too
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I know this is a long shot that you will even get this message or even read the whole thing, but I am trying to get help, I think that people need to know that this can happen (the story I am about to tell you; which is not short by any means) and that it is not right at all. My husband and I are just looking for help, which in turn can help others that are in our situation as well.
My husband had a daughter when he was 15 years old, the mother was 14 at the time. He had no knowledge of her going into labor and had found out later that she put the father was unknown. My husband hadn’t seen his daughter until she was about 4 years old. Her mother would not allow my husband to see her because he only wanted to have a relationship with his daughter, not her mother (which she did not like). After that he had seen her almost on a daily basis until she was about 5 years old.
Well, within the first year of her birth, her mother (16 years old) married another man. Shortly after they married she had her husband signed an Affidavit of Parentage (adopting her), acknowledging himself as my husband’s daughter’s father and taking on that role as far as the State of Michigan is concerned. This took away ALL rights that my husband had at the time because there was originally no father listed on the birth certificate. A couple years later they had a son together and her husband had joined the Army. While he was deployed his mother received divorce papers from his wife (my husband’s daughter’s mother). He had never seen the papers, from what we are told his mother had signed them. We have no idea if his parental rights over both children were surrendered in the divorce (we are waiting for him to find the records). My husband has been told by numerous people that an affidavit must be revoked within the first 3 years after it is filed, but at the time it was not legal to revoke an affidavit of parentage, so that still makes it so he has no rights to visit his daughter.
My husband had gone to her house one day to pick up his daughter, and the house was completely empty, the picked up and left overnight to Kentucky. My husband searched and searched for them and found out that they had moved to Kentucky with no consent from him or her ex-husband. Legally my husband never had parental rights to his daughter so she did not need his permission, and if her ex-husband’s rights were taken away in the divorce (which he doesn’t know because he was deployed) then he had no parental rights once the divorce was finalized. Once my husband found them in Kentucky, her whole family again picked up and left and went to New Mexico. My husband was determined to have a relationship with his daughter, regardless what the state had to say. He tried to get legal help as a teenager, but no lawyer would touch his case. It took my husband 2 years to find out that they had moved to New Mexico because she wasn’t living under her own name. She allowed my husband to talk to his daughter when it was convenient for her (the mother). We had talked to her a couple times about going to visit her, as my husband and I have 3 children and want them to know their sister. However, anytime we discuss visiting or her visiting here, she cuts off all contact. The last time my husband talked to his daughter, nearly 2 weeks ago, she had told him that she wants to see him and “it hurts her inside that she can’t see her dad”. He found out that they had come to Michigan multiple times a year. She would ask her mom if she could come see her dad (my husband) and her response was she didn’t know where we lived. She also found out that she was texting my husband, so she took her phone away and grounded her for talking to her dad. My heart aches for both my step-daughter and her ex-husbands son because she is telling them that their dad’s do not care about them. They are hurting mentally and emotionally. We tried being civil with her to try to allow visitations with her and my husband, but she is not wanting to cooperate.
We have just recently found and contacted her ex-husband who is willing to work with us, as he has only seen his son a few times and he is almost 5 I believe. We had met with a Michigan attorney and were told we would have to file a petition for paternity in New Mexico, which we have started. The mother still will not call us back or respond to text messages where my husband is asking to talk to his daughter. How is it ok for society to look at dads and call them dead beat dads, when these two men (my husband and the mother’s ex-husband) want to be there for their children, but the mother won’t allow them too? Why is nobody willing to help them? I don’t know what else to do to help the children most of all because they are the ones’ that are hurting the most. These children cannot keep living thinking that their fathers’ don’t want them. They are hurting both mentally and emotionally.
I do not believe that any child should have to go through life without their father.
FATHERS SHOULD HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS TO THEIR CHILDREN AS A MOTHER DOES!!
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