As a diehard Texas Rangers fan I am constantly on the front lines supporting my team from the front row seats to my TV. Ever since the good ole days of Frank Catalanotto, Hank Blalock, Vicente Padilla, and David Dellucci, I've been 100% loyal to the team even while going through the dreaded rivalry gauntlet of living in both St. Louis and Houston. Through the years, I've proudly worn my Yu Darvish shirsey and displayed my Eric Nadel 2010 ALCS commemorative bobblehead despite all the repeated let downs, jeering, and self-questioning.

I say all this to establish that this 2023 season, much like 3PM games at AT&T Stadium, has been a bright ray of light on a disappointing franchise as of late. Big names like Corey Seager and Marcus Semien have led the way while unexpected players like Dane Dunning and Ezequiel Duran have stepped up considerably. Thanks in large part to a massive run differential, the Rangers have been able to launch out in front of the AL West for a majority of the season. In Arlington and on Netflix, the Power Rangers are back. Combined with the new pace-of-play rules in MLB, this season has been very exciting for me to follow.

Recently however, I've started to notice a sharp decline in my overall happiness and well-being. I'm not laughing at people on TikTok like I once was. Twitter just isn't the same anymore. Nor am I eating my favorite comfort foods, cheese sticks and baby carrots, at all. A total loss of appetite for consumption. After a long minute of self-reflection and a scroll through the ESPN app, I realized my "loser" state appears to have oddly coincided with the ongoing Rangers six game losing streak that has dropped them to only a .5 game AL West lead. Now while correlation does not imply causation, one can not truly be a diehard irrational sports fan without making claims on subjects they know much less about. As a result, I've diagnosed that the only medical remedy for me and many alike is to call for the MLB season to be shortened to 120 games. Here are my arguments:

1) The MLB regular season is six months long with spring training and the postseason upping that to eight. Many marriage professionals would classify this as a long-term relationship. I'm no expert, but with so many daily changeups and curves, this is clearly unhealthy for baseball to be playing so many games. And like the ending of Breaking Bad, I can't commit to a whole season. My mental health is shot at the end.

2) The owners may claim that this proposal would tremendously reduce the amount of revenue via less ticket and concession sales. While that may seem true, have these billionaires ever taken Microeconomics 101? I never graduated from one of Canada's top business schools with really good grades but I do know that less supply equals greater demand: i.e. less supply of tickets increases the demand which increases the amount of people attending games. It doesn't take a Fielder to catch what's going on here.

3) Global warming is a hot topic this summer, notably with blazing hot coast to coast temperatures, wildfires in Hawaii and hurriquakes in California. The MLB season somehow miraculously encompasses THREE natural disaster seasons, namely tornado, wildfire, and hurricane seasons. We should end the season earlier to focus on what's more important:

• Gearing up for the high heat
• Worrying about earthquake, not Rangers', collapses in Oakland
• Promoting Greta Thurnburg, not Tyler Thornburg
• Asking for Red Cross, not Sox, relief help

4) On the same magnitude, without two months of baseball to sweat over you can spend more time with your family and friends. Think about all the relaxing summer activities you could look forward to. From eating hot dogs and drinking beer to hitting the pool or staying indoors to avoid the heat, you shouldn't need to be at Chase Field to do all these. Just sit back with your pet, because you wouldn't have to worry about walks or K/9s during the "dog days of summer."

5) Lastly, each game means much more with fewer games in total. With the new schedule where every team plays each other, there are fewer division games to build up the rivalries we've grown to love. Red Sox vs Yankees, Cubs vs Cardinals, Dodgers vs garbage cans. I know everyone has been deeply upset about not being able to watch more Red Sox/Yankees national TV games this year. Shortening the season will solve that problem and create more viewership because the thing that baseball needs most right now is more human eyes watching balls and strikes.

All in all, the reasons are abundantly clear. But ask yourself this: are you really a fan of your miserable team if you're not willing to make a Change.org petition in the hopes of winning the franchise's first championship in 62 years of existence? If the answer is no then scroll on by you awful and mentally stable human being, but if you relate in any way to the lengths by which a fan is willing to seep down to win a championship, go ahead and be a pitcher to the catcher and say yes to the sign!