“Your Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while Post Malone is true.”— Galadriel, The Fellowship of the Ring

Dear Post Malone,

You know what’s cool? Buying the One Ring for ~$2M.

You know what’s even cooler? Gathering up a fellowship of pals and embarking on a Quest to throw the One Ring into a volcano/fiery chasm (ideally in New Zealand, if it’s cool with them). I hear Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, and Andy Serkis are into this kinda thing, maybe they can join you? Maybe Peter Jackson can make a short* film about it? Maybe you can make a sweet soundtrack??

Don’t let Sauron corrupt you. Don’t be an Isildur/Boromir (RIP). Be the hero/legend we all need. Destroy the One Ring, Post Malone.

Sincerely,

Your Fans/All of (Middle) Earth