Dear Fellow Canadians,

It’s time to take action! Our beloved town of Dildo, Newfoundland, has been abandoned by our so-called "honorary mayor," Jimmy Kimmel. Sure, Jimmy had his fun, made a few jokes, and even got some mileage out of our name, but let's face it—he's ghosted us harder than an American ignoring the metric system.

This is why we’re proposing to replace Jimmy Kimmel with someone who truly embodies the spirit of Dildo—Canada’s own Gerry Dee! He’s got the humour, the charm, and most importantly, the Canadian-ness that Dildo deserves.

Sign this petition, and let’s give Jimmy the old heave-ho while welcoming Gerry Dee as our new honorary mayor.

LET’S KEEP DILDO CANADIAN, EH?