Many Boomers and Oldheads are being lost in the wildnerness of the new slangmaxxing culture reinventing the vocabulary of our ever-shifting world.  Younger generations are wordmogging these geriatric WOW players into oblivion by using terms like "goop" to denote items historians believe were referred to in ancient texts as  "loot." To ensure these elderly WOW players (30 and older) are not abandoned, I hereby submit for consideration this Petition to replace the word "loot" with "goop" to rescue these dinosaurs from linguistic extinction and cultural irrelevance. 

Reasons for this Significant Change:

“Loot” is giving 2007 energy.
It sounds like something whispered in a musty dungeon by someone who still burns CDs. We cannot, in good conscience, continue to pretend this word is culturally hydrated. Get it out of here.
“Goop” is the future.
“Goop” is versatile. “Goop” is moist. “Goop” is what language evolution looks like when it stops caring about your comfort.
Boomers & Oldheads Deserve a Fighting Chance.
We are simply trying to help our elders persist in an ever-changing, fast-paced world. Imagine the social inclusion when someone’s uncle says, “Just got some rare goop from the boss drop.” That’s growth. That’s healing.