📝 PETITION TO BRING BACK SAMOA
(AKA “Operation Feline Homecoming”)

To: Lydia,
From: The Concerned Citizens of Channing’s Household and Family and Friends (and also one emotionally unstable dog)

WHEREAS, Samoa the cat once ruled her domain in Channing’s home with grace, fluff, and the occasional judgmental stare;

WHEREAS, Samoa was not only a majestic presence but also the big sister to Junie the dog, whose emotional well-being is now hanging by a thread (and also a chewed-up rope toy);

WHEREAS, since Samoa’s relocation, Junie has been forced to play tug-of-war with the couch cushions and talk to herself in the mirror;

WHEREAS, Lydia has harbored Samoa, depriving her of her rightful kingdom and denying Junie her daily dose of sass and swats;

WHEREAS, the neighborhood squirrels have grown cocky in Samoa’s absence and need to be reminded who’s boss;

THEREFORE, we the undersigned (and possibly undersnuggled) demand that Lydia:

Promptly and ceremoniously return the cat to her rightful Queendom at Channing’s house;
Apologize to Junie with a minimum of three treats and a heartfelt squeaky toy;
Understand that Channing did not want this custody arrangement to change;
Accept that this is not about her, it’s about love.
Let Samoa come home. Let Junie be whole. Let balance return to the couch cushions of Excelsior.

Signed,
🐾 The Loyal Committee for Cat-Based Reunions
(Channing, Junie, and literally everyone who has ever loved a dramatic pet story)