Two years ago my husband and I placed twins up for adoption because I have a lot of health problems. We picked a family and agreed on an open adoption. We agreed to pictures, letters, and a yearly visit. However, once the adoption became final, the adoptive parents backed away and cut contact. This has been extremely difficult on our family.We have two other children. Our oldest daughter has had a very hard time with the adoption. The adoptive parents promised her she would be able to see her sisters and she was devastated when I told her that the adoptive parents wouldn't let us see them.
I became so close to the adoptive mother during the pregnancy. I spent a lot of time with her. She became like a sister to me. Not only did I lose the twins, but I lost someone who I considered family. I feel betrayed and heartbroken. I had prepared myself to let go of the twins. I knew the adoption would be hard to deal with but all of this made it MUCH harder for our entire family.
There are no laws in the state of Alabama to protect birth parents in open adoptions. The adoptive parents can do whatever they want but the birth parents deserve rights too. No one deserves to go through what we have. Not only does it hurt the adoptee in the long run, but it hurts the biological family so much. We NEED a law to protect birth parents. What was done was cruel and should never ever happen. I made them parents. I grew those babies for 9 months. I birthed them. They will always be a part of me. Birth parents deserve more than to be used and thrown away or to be fed everything they want to hear from a couple who desperatly wants a baby can get what they want. I am not asking to be a "part time" parent or to have any say in how the children are raised. I am simply asking to have the adoption I was promised. I am simply asking for adoptive parents to uphold the agreement made when the adoption papers were signed! This is what I mean by protecting birth parents in open adoptions.