While we love Oak Grove Elementary and its staff, we are writing to protest a serious matter: the new institution of “silent lunch” at school.

The Silent Lunch policy defies one of our most basic human needs: to connect over a meal. These connections among friends are more important than ever, but have been truncated to devastating effect by a number of policies already mandating more testing, more academic time, and less time for recess and other free periods. Our kids already have less time to recharge than ever. Why are we making a bad situation worse?

This policy has caused more of our children to arrive home from school severely stressed. The stress is taking its toll on everyone – introverts and extroverts alike. What we’ve seen in our homes this year: heightened anxiety, frequent tantrums, crying jags, depression, and other signs of strain. Many parents are considering alternative schooling, just to relieve the stress on their young kids.

As parents and former students ourselves, we understand the need for quiet in the halls and respect for those teachers whose classrooms are closest to the cafeteria. But the cafeteria has been situated in the same spot for fifty years now, and this is the first year we’ve had such a policy. What makes Silent Lunch even worse is that parents who come to bond with their kids and their kids’ friends now have to be quiet as well. It’s a rule that negates the very parental involvement that has always been a happy part of the Oak Grove school community.

It has been said that students officially get 15 minutes to talk during lunch (although this does not account for time spent in the lunch line, which reduces it further). It’s not enough – and it would not suffice for adults, much less for children. And the use of classical music as a signal to dampen noise feels more like a prison tactic unworthy of an elementary school. Our kids now hate to hear it.

Most of us aren’t worried that our kids won’t eat their entire lunch because they’re talking. They already get a snack during the day, and what kid eats all his lunch, anyway? If they’re hungry, they’ll eat.

We are also concerned that students who talk during lunch are saddled with laps during recess, reducing their limited free time even further. Children who don’t get enough free time – true free time, not merely academic conversation in the classroom – can’t help but expend their physical and emotional energy in other ways, at school and at home. They’ll also be miserable.  In short, by turning their main daily free block of time – time that traditionally has been spent in generally peaceful conversation while eating -- into a behavioral hoop, we’re taking one step forward and two steps back.

Mandating eating and talking in this way would never fly in an adult workplace. Why inflict it on our kids? Silent Lunch is a well-intentioned but flawed policy that forgets our essential human need for socialization, and parents and kids know it. We’re sending this letter so that you know how we feel.

Please change this policy – it’s hurting our kids.