The loss of an unborn child is a devistating loss for families and we're asking for your help and support to change the NYS Law regarding miscarriages and abortion. Knowing the difference between miscarriage and abortion, and also protecting parent's rights to determine the disposition of "their" fetus/unborn child, pre-20 weeks in pregnancy.

When women miscarry (pre-20 weeks) in NYS, the miscarried fetus is treated as an abortion. This means that the mother is NOT allowed a proper burial/cremation, she is NOT allowed to take the fetus home to bury and have a place to visit and grieve, and in some cases she is not allowed to view her lost fetus (even when requested).

Knowing the difference: Although some abortions are unwanted and only done for medical reasons it's important that we stop confusing the two! Here's how it's being confused...

Miscarriage = Spontaneous Abortion

Abortion = Induced Miscarriage.

What it actually is: Miscarriage = Failed Pregnancy or Spontaneous Pregnancy Loss: These women want this baby and would have done anything in their power to save him/her. These babies were loved the moment the pregnancy test read positive and were not ended intentionally. Abortion = Terminated Pregnancy: While some of these babies were unwanted, the parent knew they couldn't raise it properly, or they were very much loved but the mothers life was at risk... this is an intentional end of pregnancy!

Even though medical reasons behind terminating a pregnancy is consider an abortion (Therapeutic Abortion), either due to the mother's life being at risk or due to a severe birth defect, these women also deserve the right to a burial! These babies were already loved and very much wanted. We don't ask for things to go terribly wrong and no mother should have to suffer her loss even more by not having that right to choose.

While some may feel that life doesn't begin until the baby draws it's first breath. There are others that feel a beating heart, developing organs, and movement are the first signs of life. We shouldn't be forced into one or the others way of belief, but as our own individual feelings towards our individual loss which makes this change so important.

The problem with this is that there is an increase in the concern of mothers that are miscarrying. Those that are aware of this law and want a burial option will most likely (and some have) wait out the miscarriage at home. This puts the mother at risk of bleeding out to the point of unconsciousness (such as the case that changed the Texas Miscarriage Laws... we shouldn't wait around until something terrible happens to the mother). She should be comfortable and safe, in a hospital setting, knowing that if she chooses she will be able to take her baby (fetus) home. 

If we win the benefits are psychological, emotional, and spiritual for the grieving parents. Also, women that want the option for burial would be in a safe hospital setting knowing that no one will take that right from her. Not everyone will choose the option, but I strongly believe every woman deserves the right to grieve in her own individual way! A life was created, forming, developing, and living inside the mother... the fetus should belong to the mother and no one should have more power or control over the way that she wants to cope with her loss! Father's hurt too so if you're one... please, please sign!

Personal Touch (My Story): My husband and I just suffered our first loss on April 26, 2017. I was 14 weeks and 4 days but the ultrasound verified no heartbeat, no movement, and fetal development had stopped at 12 weeks. That same day I was scheduled for a D&C. We did name the baby, Hadley Storm (some name them early, some do not... it's up to the parents and there is no wrong or right way). 

My emotions were all over the place so I didn't think to ask about a burial until I was about to have the surgery. Had I known before hand, I would have taken on the risks at home! They wouldn't let me see it, wouldn't let me take it for burial (even in my own yard). It's a terrible feeling to think it was treated as medical waste or placed in an unmarked plot! I don't see the sense in doing it that way when the parents want/need a place to visit! Doesn't seem humane to me. They did, however, allow my husband to see the fetus in a jar but would not allow him to take pictures. No goodbyes, no place to visit...

It was heartbreaking to find out we wouldn't be allowed to bring the fetus home for burial, for a place to visit what once had a heartbeat and lots of movement... a place to visit what "could have been" and what was very much already loved! 

Please help! It may be too late to save ours for burial but we want to change this for others! No parent deserves to feel the way that my husband and I do. No parent deserves to be forced into grieving by the means of someone else's beliefs. No mother should feel the need to take on the risks of miscarrying at home because of such a law. And absolutely no mother should have to suffer her loss further by not being allowed a burial regardless of miscarriage or therapeutic abortion! We suffer enough on the loss alone. We deserve this as a right!

We can also be found on Facebook: Justice for NYS Parent's of Miscarriages

*This is: Your Life, Your Body, Your Baby, Your Future, YOUR DECISION!