Great Pyramid of Giza has long been recognized as one of the "Seven Wonders of the World." Constructed over 4,000 years ago and standing 454 feet tall, the pyramid of King Khufu is so impressive that many believe its builders received help from beyond our world. It contains the sarcophagus of a pharaoh, a network of tunnels, and a series of hidden chambers that many believe have acoustic properties. However, it's noticeably lacking in the ability to purchase live bait, beef jerky, and novelty trinkets shaped like fish. This omission has baffled historians and has led many to ask the question: why even build a pyramid in the first place?

Half a world away stands an equally monumental structure: the Memphis Pyramid. At a height of 321 feet, it's the world's sixth tallest pyramid and its largest Bass Pro Shop, easily eclipsing the Sun Temple of the Aztecs and the Bait n' Tackle Mega-Mart of the ancient Sumerians. What it lacks in antiquity, it makes up for in affordable prices on all your camping and outdoor needs. What it lacks in pedigree, it more than compensates with its indoor cypress swamp, featuring live alligators and an industry-certified marine dealership with the latest from Tracker, Nitro, and more. Plus, the Memphis Pyramid features an indoor shooting range, a laser arcade, and an underwater-themed bowling alley--features absent in the majority of Egyptian funerary structures.

All this to say, the Memphis Pyramid's exclusion from the canonical list of World Wonders is a travesty of the highest order, and a blow to the credibility of the UNESCO World Heritage Committee. Please join us in calling upon President Biden and the international community to give the Memphis Pyramid the recognition it deserves.

Thank you.