It pains and saddens me to a great extent that my weird friend refuses to see the error in her ways. Several times an week she engages in an activity disgusting and vehement that I can barely bear to watch without wailing in despair. 

You see she horribly maims, one of the best fruits known to man, and a staple of the state of Georgia. She s not only wasting the work of the good farmers growing these and everyone in the supply chain but is also very careless throughout the process, often mishandling or even dropping them. 

But I have finally decided to put my foot down and save these innocent fruits from their terrible awaited fate. For you see you can help too. For a combined total of 15 signatures, she has agreed to cease her activities permanently, so I beg you, no I IMPLORE YOU to sign today a peach, life, honor, and dignity are on the line as we speak.