Facebook: Stop Censoring Open Relationships & Imposing Your Morality on my Sexuality

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My name is Amanda—I'm the co-founder of a dating app called #open. I started #open a few years ago after a series of disappointing and degrading experiences weathering the storm of unwanted dick pics, getting catfished by married men, and wasting time on matches I had nothing in common with.

I felt like there was an opportunity to create a platform where users respected each other and their time; where we're encouraged to express our needs, wants, and desires clearly and openly so that we can find others that share them.

So we did! We put together a small team and got to work. In early 2019 we sent our app out into the world on Android and iOS. We were, and are, super excited about what it can do for women (and everyone else). Our community of people who genuinely “get it” has exceeded all of my expectations.

But we've had a hell of a time telling anyone about it. We're sex-positive,  kink-positive, and inclusive. We built an app that supports the kinds of relationships people are actually looking for, whether they're in an open relationship and looking for a new partner or they're looking to find someone to settle down with.

Unfortunately, that's dirty and shameful to every platform we might use to get the word out: If you want to advertise you can't be sex-positive—it's better if you remove words like "sex" and "kink" from your vocabulary, really. Carefully avoid any hint that adults might use your app to find consenting partners to have casual sex with. Don't let slip they could use your app to openly engage in consensual non-monogamy—that'll get you blacklisted entirely.

Citing "global user sentiment analysis," Facebook states that they don't allow apps with "'couple' or 'group' options" or apps that promote "casual dating," "hook-ups," "affairs," or "'mail-order brides.”

A recent study shows that more than 80% of people have fantasized about being in an open relationship of some kind: this policy is censoring everyone interested in different types of families or relationships and it's making it harder for people to connect with like minded partners.

Facebook's policy is also being inconsistently enforced. It apparently doesn't apply to apps like Tinder (where partners often share a single profile), OKCupid (which runs ads asking “foreplay or get right to it?” and also supports multiple relationship types, including non-monogamous ones), or Righter (a dating app for people with conservative political leanings).

Facebook has decided that sexuality is only acceptable on their platform if it pleases their "global audience" who, according to them, isn't quite ready to accept the idea of "casual dating." A cursory search shows that Facebook is home to hundreds of polyamory, ethical/consensual non-monogamy, kink and swinger discussion groups with over 350 thousand active users seeking to engage with those online communities. 

Help us tell Facebook to stop censoring and devaluing my relationship and the relationships of millions of other people looking for casual dates or interested in alternative relationship styles.