In Virginia, the laws for custody and visitation state that everything is done "in the best interest of the child", but personal experience and anecdotal evidence speak differently.

In my personal situation, I was told that because myself and my ex had a "traditional" household, where I was the "breadwinner" and she was the "homemaker" (despite both of us working full-time jobs), they awarded her physical custody and limited my "parenting time" to every other weekend, split holidays, and a night during the week. That is, until he began Kindergarten. Now, I only get every other weekend and the split holidays, and I have to practically beg my ex for any extra time.

I had, until then, been a DAILY facet in my son's life. I was there when he woke, when he went to bed, for every dinner. For every birthday, his first steps, his first bike ride, his first words-- and it stopped flat, because of the courts being in an archaic mindset of age-old gender roles.

That was nearly a year and a half ago (May 8th, 2018 is the date I was relegated to being a visitor in my son's life), and both he and I feel the effects daily. It's not that his mother isn't fit, it's the lack of understanding by the court system that I am as well. I helped make him. I supported his emotional and mental growth, I supported him financially. I deserve to be in his life more than 6 days a month.

There are SO many parents that have unfairly had their rights limited with their children. More often than not, the mother is more favorably looked-upon in such cases, and it's detrimental to the relationships of the non-custodial parent-- especially in cases where the mother and father split is turbulent. The court allowing one parent to make all the decisions about the child's visitation with the other parent, which can be easily swayed by personal opinion, isn't fair or just to either the child or the noncustodial parent.

Studies have shown that children that are in a 50/50 parenting situation after a split do better scholastically, emotionally, and mentally than children who see one parent substantially more than the other. It's important for a child's growth as a person to have time with BOTH parents as equally as possible.

Statistics ALSO show that this "traditional" custody arrangement is detrimental to the non-custodial parent, with higher rates of documented depression, anxiety, poverty, and suicide.

It's time we grew, as Virginians, into the modern age and understood that children NEED BOTH parents in their lives to be fulfilled, and to give them the best foot forward as they grow into young adults. EVERY parent, that is fit and willing, should be allowed equal time with the children that they love, and who love them. 

That's why I'm starting this petition to seek 50/50 parenting time as a standard in cases of splits between two fit and willing parents. 

Non-custodial parents love their children as much as custodial parents. It's time we gave them their proper place in their children's lives, not just weekend visitors and paychecks.