Why the world needs access to White Claw in racks and 40's: An exposé

    White Claw. The hard seltzer beverage introduced in 2016 by Mark Anthony Brands, much to the elation of all. Indeed, in a world bereft of truth and sanity, precariously perched upon the brink of mass extinction, stands one tall, slim can, framed against the onslaught of encroaching darkness. A solitary beacon of sparkling hope and hard justice. Splitting in twain the tyrannical and cacophonous cavalcade of uninspired adult beverage purveyors; White Claw  rises with a clarion call to herald the return of partying's halcyon days. Armed with not but 100 calories, 2 carbs, and a boatload of flavor...The Claw rides forth to spread its refreshing eminence to the masses.

BUT ARE 12 PACKS ENOUGH TO KNEEL AT THE ALTAR OF THIS DELECTABLE  EMPIRE? I SAY NO.

What kind of world are we living in, where an honest working person can't go out and buy their favorite hard seltzer in packs of 24 or 30? How are we supposed to enjoy 40 ounces of hard fought freedom if such a chalice does not exist to deliver our prize!?

WHITE CLAW AND MARK ANTHONY BRANDS, HEAR US NOW. WE, THE FREE PEOPLE'S OF EARTH DEMAND YOU RECTIFY THIS TRAVESTY. DELIVER UNTO US THE RACK. DELIVER UNTO US THE 40oz. DO WHAT IS NOBLE AND RIGHT. DO WHAT IS FAIR AND JUST. FOR IF THERE CAN BE NO LAW WHILST DRINKING THE CLAW, WE WISH TO SLAKE OUR THIRST IN THE DAWN OF LAWLESSNESS FOR ALL TIME.