Make Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) A Punishable Crime In Canada!!
Make Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) A Punishable Crime In Canada!!
The Issue
3 Years ago, in 2020, MCFD showed up at my door saying they had "gotten a report of abuse" committed against me by my ex-boyfriend and had safety concerns for my children who had gone to their father's house for a regularly scheduled sleepover earlier that day. I explained what had happened and that my boyfriend (at the time) had moved out at my request the night before, and that I was taking the steps necessary to protect my children and myself. The weeks leading up to that morning had been tough! But my children ALWAYS came first, and so I had done what I had to do to protect them as best I could. Even asking their father to keep them for a few extra nights, in order to protect them and keep them from witnessing any arguments or fights that may occur when one requests that her partner find another place to live. I didn't take this lightly as my ex-husband and father of my children was not a patient man, nor one I would trust to influence my children in any way, or for any length of time.
In 2016 he beat me up so badly that he almost broke my orbital bone, and MCFD had me sign a safety plan stating that my mother had to move into my home, and she was to call the police immediately if he showed up at the house, because they feared he was going to seek revenge for being arrested for the assault on me, and that if I took the children anywhere near him in the 6 months that followed, they would immediately remove my children from my care. At the current time though, he had spent a year on probation, lost his guns and license, and done "some counseling" from what I was told. He and I only spoke when he came to pick them up or drop them off, unless there was an emergency, and we ONLY talked about the children, as he REFUSED to speak to me for ANYTHING else. But the kids wanted to spend that time with him, and so they visited him every weekend, from Saturday night to Sunday night. He would then feed them dinner (it took a LONG time before he would even do that. But when he got a girlfriend, it was like a godsend because she always made sure the kids were fed A PROPER MEAL THAT WASNT OATMEAL OR CEREAL) and they even started coming home bathed some nights!! Then he would bring them home on Sunday night, so they could be ready for school the following Monday. So, although I never let him have enough time to influence them in any negative way or lose his temper like he had in the past when he blackened my 2 sons' eyes, as well as the time he pummeled my face in 2016, I NEVER kept the children from him, unless MCFD demanded it of me. It took a long time and a lot of days when the kids had been disappointed by him telling them that he had be somewhere on a certain day and then not show up, or when he would ask me if he could skip a weekend.... or two, and not pick them up at all. There were a lot of days where I'd make excuses.... not for HIM, but for the kids.... to save their little hearts from breaking, saying he had to work or had something urgent.... when in reality, he just didn't want to be a dad that weekend. I knew that how much hated him had a backseat to how much they loved him.
Finally, we had worked out a schedule that seemed to work for us all, and had stuck to it for well over two years when the social workers knocked on my door to talk about the report, they had received about my boyfriend at that time in 2020. Because I had asked their father to pick them up on Thursday instead of Saturday, (to allow the boyfriend to move his stuff and spare them from any animosity or hostility that he was going to display in the process) that by the time Sunday rolled around and the kids were due home I WAS EXHAUSTED!! So, they called me the night prior (Sunday) stating they had gotten this report, and they felt it best if the kids stayed another night at dads and a social worker would be in touch with me in the morning, I just said "Fine." and went to bed. I HONESTLY did NOT think anything of it!! But right away I could see the social worker looking at me strangely. Granted my house was TRASHED, and I had been crying for DAYS, but it was all very easily explained by what had taken place the few days before, WHILE THE KIDS WERE AT THEIR FATHERS. .......... I feel like this could go on and on and I COULD tell you EVERY little detail.... but it wouldn't help my case and it wouldn't explain WHY making Parental Alienation Syndrome A PUNISHABLE Crime in Canada is SO important!! So to make a LONG story short... I opened my home to them (MCFD), I was honest with them, I complied with the urine testing they wanted and the counseling they demanded I get. ALL THE WHILE asking them WHEN my kids would be home!! They kept telling me, "Next weekend we will do a walkthrough and then they can come home if all is well." or "We just need you to do this one more course than they can come home." And then JUST when I'd be almost done whatever it was, they wanted, something would change and they would need more from me, or they'd get an "ANONYMOUS" REPORT! They took my visits with my children away from me ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS for WEEKS AND MONTHS at a time for NO REASON!! Slowly, I lost EVERYTHING. My income of child tax and child support which made up a good portion of my complete income because I'm on disability and wasn't working at that time, so then I got evicted and lost my home, they refused to allow me and my boyfriend who had been a very close friend of mine for 25 years of my life before we started dating to reconcile, my family wouldn't speak to me because they believed I was lying or hiding something, because they couldn't believe that MCFD would do this without reason, so I lost them, then my mom passed away in the summer of 2021 and I only made it to the hospital 3 days before she died after not speaking to her =for years because of this dampening an already "wet" relationship. One of the last things she said to me is "Aren't you on heroin?" I was devastated!! IVE NEVER DONE HEROIN IN MY LIFE!! But MCFD made everyone think that I was a junkie, because even after completing 5 MONTHS of clean urine testing for them they would NOT give me my kids back!! All the friends I had followed suit... and so I had NO support save for my councilor, who turned into an angel for me for the next 3 years, supporting me, (emotionally and mentally) and reminded me not to give up. He helped me file paperwork, and drove me to appts, and even "SUPERVISED" visits between me and my children, up until this past winter, when he abruptly distanced himself after I can only assume, being reprimanded for getting too personal and close to my file, as all he said to me is that he had put his whole program at risk, because he had spent a lot of his available resources/funding and time on my case, and neglected his other clients, so he stepped WAY back, and now I barely speak to him at all anymore. I have tried everything I can think of!! I Completed 2 and a half pages of parenting courses, and resources trying to better myself and my life, for my children and myself, I went through 3 lawyers, and in April of 2021 I filed a formal complaint against MCFD and, more specifically, the Surrey Fraser Hwy office. (It was found in my favor) Then in July of 2021 MCFD FINALLY admitted they "mishandled my case" and said they believed that I had mitigated the risks to myself and my children and they no longer had concerns with me having my children in my care 24/7 (and gave me a letter stating as much).
I spoke to my lawyer to make sure I wouldn't get arrested for kidnapping, as I had been threatened so many times before, if I did NOT return my children to my ex-husband on our next visit. The whole time the kids kept asking "When can we come home?" (There wasn't a day that I spoke to them in the 3 years they have been gone that they did NOT ask me when they were coming home, or say they DID want to come home still.) And I'd tell them what I was told... "Next weekend." or "After mommy finishes this class baby." But this time, on August 3rd, when they asked while we were at the park for our weekday visit, I had made the decision that the next visit was the day they would STAY WITH ME!! I was so excited and made the mistake of telling them, "VERY SOON!! I PROMISE THIS TIME! It won't be long now!!" I hugged them goodbye and went home anxious for the weekend to come!! ..... I never saw my kids again. My husband never showed up at our meeting spot the next weekend. When I went to his house, he phoned the police and had me removed from the property. All they would tell me is "The kids are with a relative and they are safe." I contacted MCFD and was told that "there is nothing we can do, you have to take it up in family court."
I hadn't even HEARD from the kids on the phone until 5 and a half MONTHS after that. He refused to let me speak with them at all!! He changed his phone number and moved their schools. This whole time I have BEGGED every lawyer i have had through legal aid to get me in front of a judge... BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING!!! I CAN'T do this much longer! My youngest 2 are twins. Thier birthday is on Christmas eve and I haven't even spoken at them or seen them AT ALL on their birthday or Christmas for the past 3 years!! I raised them all!! I have spent EVERY Christmas since the day they left 100% ALONE... My oldest son just turned 11!! I asked my ex-husband if he would at least let me give him a gift and meet me at the park and he said yes... I WAS OVER THE MOON!! I was sooo excited that I packed a wagon until it was literally overflowing with gifts and games and i towed it up to the park on the day of the scheduled meeting.... An hour after he was supposed to be there, he emailed me saying he forgot he had RSVP'd my daughter to her first birthday party and he had forgotten so he wasn't coming.... I have not heard from him since.... ...
......... Oh ya.... and did I mention that I have a LEGAL and VALID custody order from 2015 that says I have LEGAL custody of my children and that my ex-husband is to see the children AT MY DISRECTION...? Ya... so, I have that.... but because it doesn't say POLICE ENFORCABLE on it...no one will do anything or HELP ME GO GET MY KIDS and bring them HOME!! My heart is BROKEN!! PLEASE, ... sign the petition and help put a STOP TO THIS ABUSIVE BEHAVOUR and PUNISH the ones that think its ok to do this to LOVING CHILDREN AND PARENTS!!!
....and if anyone knows a good pro bono family lawyer.... pm me... Thank you so much for signing and for reading my story. I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL MY KIDS ARE HOME WITH ME WHERE THEY BELONG!!
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The Issue
3 Years ago, in 2020, MCFD showed up at my door saying they had "gotten a report of abuse" committed against me by my ex-boyfriend and had safety concerns for my children who had gone to their father's house for a regularly scheduled sleepover earlier that day. I explained what had happened and that my boyfriend (at the time) had moved out at my request the night before, and that I was taking the steps necessary to protect my children and myself. The weeks leading up to that morning had been tough! But my children ALWAYS came first, and so I had done what I had to do to protect them as best I could. Even asking their father to keep them for a few extra nights, in order to protect them and keep them from witnessing any arguments or fights that may occur when one requests that her partner find another place to live. I didn't take this lightly as my ex-husband and father of my children was not a patient man, nor one I would trust to influence my children in any way, or for any length of time.
In 2016 he beat me up so badly that he almost broke my orbital bone, and MCFD had me sign a safety plan stating that my mother had to move into my home, and she was to call the police immediately if he showed up at the house, because they feared he was going to seek revenge for being arrested for the assault on me, and that if I took the children anywhere near him in the 6 months that followed, they would immediately remove my children from my care. At the current time though, he had spent a year on probation, lost his guns and license, and done "some counseling" from what I was told. He and I only spoke when he came to pick them up or drop them off, unless there was an emergency, and we ONLY talked about the children, as he REFUSED to speak to me for ANYTHING else. But the kids wanted to spend that time with him, and so they visited him every weekend, from Saturday night to Sunday night. He would then feed them dinner (it took a LONG time before he would even do that. But when he got a girlfriend, it was like a godsend because she always made sure the kids were fed A PROPER MEAL THAT WASNT OATMEAL OR CEREAL) and they even started coming home bathed some nights!! Then he would bring them home on Sunday night, so they could be ready for school the following Monday. So, although I never let him have enough time to influence them in any negative way or lose his temper like he had in the past when he blackened my 2 sons' eyes, as well as the time he pummeled my face in 2016, I NEVER kept the children from him, unless MCFD demanded it of me. It took a long time and a lot of days when the kids had been disappointed by him telling them that he had be somewhere on a certain day and then not show up, or when he would ask me if he could skip a weekend.... or two, and not pick them up at all. There were a lot of days where I'd make excuses.... not for HIM, but for the kids.... to save their little hearts from breaking, saying he had to work or had something urgent.... when in reality, he just didn't want to be a dad that weekend. I knew that how much hated him had a backseat to how much they loved him.
Finally, we had worked out a schedule that seemed to work for us all, and had stuck to it for well over two years when the social workers knocked on my door to talk about the report, they had received about my boyfriend at that time in 2020. Because I had asked their father to pick them up on Thursday instead of Saturday, (to allow the boyfriend to move his stuff and spare them from any animosity or hostility that he was going to display in the process) that by the time Sunday rolled around and the kids were due home I WAS EXHAUSTED!! So, they called me the night prior (Sunday) stating they had gotten this report, and they felt it best if the kids stayed another night at dads and a social worker would be in touch with me in the morning, I just said "Fine." and went to bed. I HONESTLY did NOT think anything of it!! But right away I could see the social worker looking at me strangely. Granted my house was TRASHED, and I had been crying for DAYS, but it was all very easily explained by what had taken place the few days before, WHILE THE KIDS WERE AT THEIR FATHERS. .......... I feel like this could go on and on and I COULD tell you EVERY little detail.... but it wouldn't help my case and it wouldn't explain WHY making Parental Alienation Syndrome A PUNISHABLE Crime in Canada is SO important!! So to make a LONG story short... I opened my home to them (MCFD), I was honest with them, I complied with the urine testing they wanted and the counseling they demanded I get. ALL THE WHILE asking them WHEN my kids would be home!! They kept telling me, "Next weekend we will do a walkthrough and then they can come home if all is well." or "We just need you to do this one more course than they can come home." And then JUST when I'd be almost done whatever it was, they wanted, something would change and they would need more from me, or they'd get an "ANONYMOUS" REPORT! They took my visits with my children away from me ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS for WEEKS AND MONTHS at a time for NO REASON!! Slowly, I lost EVERYTHING. My income of child tax and child support which made up a good portion of my complete income because I'm on disability and wasn't working at that time, so then I got evicted and lost my home, they refused to allow me and my boyfriend who had been a very close friend of mine for 25 years of my life before we started dating to reconcile, my family wouldn't speak to me because they believed I was lying or hiding something, because they couldn't believe that MCFD would do this without reason, so I lost them, then my mom passed away in the summer of 2021 and I only made it to the hospital 3 days before she died after not speaking to her =for years because of this dampening an already "wet" relationship. One of the last things she said to me is "Aren't you on heroin?" I was devastated!! IVE NEVER DONE HEROIN IN MY LIFE!! But MCFD made everyone think that I was a junkie, because even after completing 5 MONTHS of clean urine testing for them they would NOT give me my kids back!! All the friends I had followed suit... and so I had NO support save for my councilor, who turned into an angel for me for the next 3 years, supporting me, (emotionally and mentally) and reminded me not to give up. He helped me file paperwork, and drove me to appts, and even "SUPERVISED" visits between me and my children, up until this past winter, when he abruptly distanced himself after I can only assume, being reprimanded for getting too personal and close to my file, as all he said to me is that he had put his whole program at risk, because he had spent a lot of his available resources/funding and time on my case, and neglected his other clients, so he stepped WAY back, and now I barely speak to him at all anymore. I have tried everything I can think of!! I Completed 2 and a half pages of parenting courses, and resources trying to better myself and my life, for my children and myself, I went through 3 lawyers, and in April of 2021 I filed a formal complaint against MCFD and, more specifically, the Surrey Fraser Hwy office. (It was found in my favor) Then in July of 2021 MCFD FINALLY admitted they "mishandled my case" and said they believed that I had mitigated the risks to myself and my children and they no longer had concerns with me having my children in my care 24/7 (and gave me a letter stating as much).
I spoke to my lawyer to make sure I wouldn't get arrested for kidnapping, as I had been threatened so many times before, if I did NOT return my children to my ex-husband on our next visit. The whole time the kids kept asking "When can we come home?" (There wasn't a day that I spoke to them in the 3 years they have been gone that they did NOT ask me when they were coming home, or say they DID want to come home still.) And I'd tell them what I was told... "Next weekend." or "After mommy finishes this class baby." But this time, on August 3rd, when they asked while we were at the park for our weekday visit, I had made the decision that the next visit was the day they would STAY WITH ME!! I was so excited and made the mistake of telling them, "VERY SOON!! I PROMISE THIS TIME! It won't be long now!!" I hugged them goodbye and went home anxious for the weekend to come!! ..... I never saw my kids again. My husband never showed up at our meeting spot the next weekend. When I went to his house, he phoned the police and had me removed from the property. All they would tell me is "The kids are with a relative and they are safe." I contacted MCFD and was told that "there is nothing we can do, you have to take it up in family court."
I hadn't even HEARD from the kids on the phone until 5 and a half MONTHS after that. He refused to let me speak with them at all!! He changed his phone number and moved their schools. This whole time I have BEGGED every lawyer i have had through legal aid to get me in front of a judge... BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING!!! I CAN'T do this much longer! My youngest 2 are twins. Thier birthday is on Christmas eve and I haven't even spoken at them or seen them AT ALL on their birthday or Christmas for the past 3 years!! I raised them all!! I have spent EVERY Christmas since the day they left 100% ALONE... My oldest son just turned 11!! I asked my ex-husband if he would at least let me give him a gift and meet me at the park and he said yes... I WAS OVER THE MOON!! I was sooo excited that I packed a wagon until it was literally overflowing with gifts and games and i towed it up to the park on the day of the scheduled meeting.... An hour after he was supposed to be there, he emailed me saying he forgot he had RSVP'd my daughter to her first birthday party and he had forgotten so he wasn't coming.... I have not heard from him since.... ...
......... Oh ya.... and did I mention that I have a LEGAL and VALID custody order from 2015 that says I have LEGAL custody of my children and that my ex-husband is to see the children AT MY DISRECTION...? Ya... so, I have that.... but because it doesn't say POLICE ENFORCABLE on it...no one will do anything or HELP ME GO GET MY KIDS and bring them HOME!! My heart is BROKEN!! PLEASE, ... sign the petition and help put a STOP TO THIS ABUSIVE BEHAVOUR and PUNISH the ones that think its ok to do this to LOVING CHILDREN AND PARENTS!!!
....and if anyone knows a good pro bono family lawyer.... pm me... Thank you so much for signing and for reading my story. I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL MY KIDS ARE HOME WITH ME WHERE THEY BELONG!!
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Petition created on May 19, 2022