(This is all satire but please listen!)

As a student at Shipley (especially first-semester seniors), our time is precious. Yet, every Wednesday morning at 8:05, without fail, we’re forced to drag ourselves into the gym to sit on a rock-hard wooden floor for 20 minutes. We twist our backs in every painful direction while we could be using that time more productively—doing homework, seeking advice from an advisor, or simply connecting with friends. And let’s be honest, I’m not the only one who feels this frustration. I’ve heard countless others complain about losing feeling in their legs or how pointless the whole experience is.

The worst part? It serves very little purpose. Sure, some of the stories are interesting, but it’s an absolute waste of time. I get it—there’s some lofty notion of community-building behind it, and I’m not saying we should scrap Gatorcon entirely. I know there are much more important things going on with students or in the world, but this is something that affects every single student at Shipley. But seriously, why do we endure this every single week? 

Here’s my solution: hold Gatorcon every other week, at least. This way, we can salvage some of our time and turn this routine into something we can actually tolerate. Because right now, it’s doing nothing but frustrating an already overworked student body.

Lastly, I know I am not in a position in student government to make any change, so this is the only way that I believe this change could happen. If you support this, please sign. 

Sincerely,

Rafa Snyder