We're gonna get straight to the point here. We want the fine folks at the National Biscuit Company—or "Nabisco", as the cool kids call it nowadays—to market an "Oops! All Stuf" variety of Oreos.

Devised by Jesse Jones of STAB! Comedy Theater fame, "Oops! All Stuf" Oreos would be, quite simply, sleeves and/or boxes of Oreo cream filling discs, regarded by a not-inconsiderable percentage of the global population to be the best part of the cookie.

Clearly, Nabisco knows just how much Oreo filling is beloved by the buying public. They keep making different varieties of Oreo with more and more filling in the middle! The Double Stuf Oreo, the Big Stuf Oreo, the Most Stuf Oreo. All we're saying is, "Let's cut out the middleman. Forget the damn cookie, just give us the cream discs." We're not banging rocks together here, people. We know how supply and demand works and we are more than capable of supplying the demand.

If Nabisco won't do it, we're sure that whoever it is that makes Hydrox cookies would be more than glad to capitalize on this burning need. But it wouldn't be the same. It just wouldn't! Shut up, Nora, it totally wouldn't! It has to be the Oreo cream!

So let's make our voices heard, people! Let's make a billion-dollar corporation bend to our buying will! Let's tell Nabisco that we want "Oops! All Stuf" Oreos and we want them NOW!