September 23, 2023

Mr. Niels B. Christiansen
Chief Executive Officer
LEGO System A/S
Aastvej 1
7190 Billund
Denmark

Dear Mr. Christiansen,

I am ecstatic to present you with a fantastic proposal accompanied by a petition for a future project for LEGO. As you can see by the sheer numbers in my petition, this project is deeply desired by the LEGO community and will obviously and without a doubt be a great success.

Now I would like to address the fact that I am aware that this idea has been presented in the past, back in March 2021 by Dr. Pangoo (whoever that is). The idea which is listed on the product idea page had 89 supporters and seems it was never produced and has now expired. Well let me just say it had so few supporters only because I was not aware of this idea at the time and did not take action to help. Now, while I support Dr. Pangoo’s valiant attempt to get this made I must be blunt when I say his version was far too simplistic and uninteresting which may explain why it did not succeed. But we can look beyond that and build something that is truly magical.

What we need is an authentic PeeWee’s Playhouse set. Not like the one that was presented on your site (essentially a single dull room, with all due respect). It needs to be a monumental PlayHOUSE - the likes of which no one has ever seen! An interactive, multiple room palace with all the bells and whistles. A playhouse with a majestic exterior that allows the user to open up hinged walls, revealing a stupendous interior that matches the very same playhouse we all fell in love with way back in 1986.

Some things to consider for the design:

-          The multi-story house is constructed with a variety of animating decorative objects on the roof, the sphinx whose head slides back and forth horizontally, lava lamp pillars, and the crown jewel on top of the house in flashing neon lights is a spectacular sign that says simply: “PeeWee”. It is almost as if you are approaching the gates of heaven in all its glory.

-          As I am sure you are well aware, the devil is in the details. Observe the red front door with the zigzag edge and hole PeeWee can peek through. The vibrant colors and patterns on every surface throughout the inside and outside. These kinds of details are incredibly important to all PeeWee and LEGO enthusiasts.

-          Almost everything in the house is sentient – Mr. Window, Chairry, Floory, Globey, and let’s not forget Clocky of course. Now in addition to the phenomenal sentient object characters, the house in and of itself is borderline miraculous. PeeWee had a picturephone (presumably the first of its kind), a fish tank, a rotating toy closet, a mouse hole with tiny dinosaurs living inside it, an ant farm, and so much more.

-          You’ve got beloved characters such as Conky the Robot who tells us the word of the day (for this, consider using the word “LEGO”); Terry the Pterodactyl; Penny (a claymation girl with pennies for eyes); Randy, a horrible, rotten puppet; Jambi the disembodied genie head (who I am inspired to do a future painting of); and of course we musn’t forget Cowboy Curtis, Capt Carl, and the most beautiful woman in the world: Miss Yvonne. Finally, in a very special episode there was a giant eyeball monster named Roger who scared the living you-know-what out of the housemates, but in the end he turned out to be a good friend. This episode happened to be the most epic one of all and showed us you can’t judge a book by its cover, even if it IS a giant green cyclops with one leg.

-          PeeWee had a red scooter and the most legendary helmet you will ever lay your eyes on. At the end of every episode he is launched out of his house on his bike [screaming], flying past Mt. Rushmore, with their approving gazes fixed on him. PeeWee clearly was unconcerned with what the neighbors thought of him. PeeWee. Does. What. PeeWee. Wants.

Now although I do so happen to be an artist myself (feel free to visit my website katehaanraadts.com), I must admit I do not have the engineering prowess required to design and construct an architectural masterpiece the likes of which I have just described.

That being said, I do like to get things done, even if those things that are well beyond my power. For example, I wrote a petition to get Extra Toasty Cheez Its made which went viral. While it did take several years before I finally saw them on the shelves, we can all now enjoy those Extra Toasty Cheez Its. I think we can agree that the Extra Toasty Cheez Its are by far the best snack food that ever existed, so you’re welcome.

And so now I turn to you: The Willy Wonka of Toy Makers, to do your magic and make this dream become a reality. 

With the extremely untimely and tragic death of PeeWee Herman (aka Paul Reubens) I have been moved to action with a deep sense of regret having not done so earlier, so he could behold the fruits of my efforts with his own eyes! It is a regret I will now have to live with until the day I die. So I am channeling PeeWee’s spirit from the grave and wearing my orange PeeWee shirt as I type this. THAT’S how serious this is.

We, the undersigned, simply won’t take no for an answer.

Thank you for the time it took you to read all of this and thank you for your future efforts in making the best LEGO set that ever existed: PeeWee’s Playhouse.

I look forward to your positive and enthusiastic response.

We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams.
Kate Haanraadts, artist extraordinaire
@katehaanraadts