Friends, countrymen, romans. This great nation of ours was built not solely by the keenness of our wit, nor by the sweat of our brows, nor even through the kindness of our hearts but by the honesty and the integrity of the good people whom inhabit this realm. 

That honesty and integrity which has stood firm throughout all history has thrown at it my good friends is now unfortunately under threat. You see some time ago the KFC corporation saw fit to ruminate that great British staple, cornerstone of our culture and building block for life which is the humble chip into the current mongrel creation we have been forced to endure. It is neither a chip, nor a french fry, nor even a wedge and uniquely it offers none of their advantages and indeed my good friends it sadly offers all of their drawbacks. These limp, luke warm, imposters of the great British chip (More closely related to cardboard packaging I fear than any potato based product) are a stain on our good reputation and will forever besmirch the name of our great nation if we do not act to bring about a swift and decisive change in proceedings from the KFC hierarchy. 

Therefore, I would urge as many of you as you can my friends to join with me in demanding that KFC corporation changes its 'chips' with immediate effect and proceeds forthwith to provide assurances that this can never be allowed to happen again. 

Thank you for your time.