(warning: the following is very long and VERY frustrating to wrap your head around; TLDR: justice for Lady Gaga!)

 

CALLING ALL MONSTERS 


My name is ian and I’m running for President in 2032 (#ian2032). I'm running via the entertainment industry, and I’m pushing for massive changes in show biz. I want to shine a spotlight on the working conditions of ALL creators by highlighting one of our hardest-working and most genuinely self-made artists. 

Content creators like Lady Gaga are essential for democracy to thrive!

Lady Gaga needs our help believing in herself. She's been flying with a broken arm. With just one small nudge, she'll be flying like 1000 doves.

 

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As I get a sense of the working atmosphere in Hollywood, I’m seeing more and more how completely unprofessional it is here!

For example: I want to write for The Simpsons, and there's no way to go to simpsons-dot-com and just hit "apply." It's the same for all shows, all movies, all studios, everything; it's basically the Hunger Games out here.

I'm currently being chewed up, but I refuse to be spit out! That said, the only other option is to be shit out. Either way, one day we're all just gonna wake up on the beach, totally washed up.

Lady Gaga stayed up all night sewing all her own outfits, and I think the people at her label (aka her place of business) would just make all sorts of rude comments, demeaning remarks, and overall act like her outfits/craziness were getting in the way of them selling records, when in reality the outfits and visuals are what actually sell those records.

Lady Gaga clearly earns a living by expressing herself uniquely, and if the people at her place of business didn’t understand that, they shouldn’t’ve hired her.

She was the one staying up late sewing her own outfits, she was the one coming up with all her own choreography and music video ideas, and then I think she would go into her place of work and all these behind-the-scenes Suits would just make a bunch of really rude comments about her business ideas! In short, creators deserve to be lifted up, not stepped on. Unprofessional!

She has so much music from her debut era, literally 5 albums of content (all with very distinct sounds and imagery) that her label is trying to pass off as only being 2 albums, undercutting countless hours of hard work by a content creator who (at the time) was still just emerging!

I ultimately want to be a manager (that's what the president does: they manage the US on an international level), and I fully believe it is possible to earn money while still lifting up artists!

 

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I’m currently putting the finishing touches on a relaunch of all of Lady Gaga’s early music! They are all playlists I simply built on Apple Music (and youtube when my cell service was shut off lol). Anyone can be a creator!

Lady Gaga had constant struggles with her label about her image (they didn’t like her outfits, but they liked her sales, and didn’t seem to understand that her outfits CREATE the sales) 

I work in the entertainment industry and it is toxic 24/7. I want to know what was said behind closed doors that made Lady Gaga feel uncomfortable expressing herself. To repeat, I ultimately want to be a manager, and I fully believe it is possible to earn money while still lifting up artists!

From 2008-2011 Lady Gaga released 5 albums of content that her label is trying to sell as 2 albums, AND they are trying to pass off Lady Gaga as being the problem. They under-promoted several of her favorites, all in the interest of positioning themselves as having salvaged the wreckage of Lady Gaga’s early career.  


I was there when Lady Gaga made nonstop hits, and I can assure you, she was not the one causing problems. What lies was she being told about her image? Why weren’t they clearing the runway for Lady Gaga’s elevated concepts? 


As candidate for president in 2032 (and for pope in 2025) I am calling for Congressional Investigations into what happened at her label (Interscope Records) that made Lady Gaga feel like she couldn’t express herself. I publicly call for the FBI to raid Interscope Records.

Since Taylor Swift and Beyonce had those record-breaking tours (nearing $3 billion) this is clearly a matter of federal urgency. $3 billion is more than the GDP of the state of Kansas, my home state.

As candidate for president, I am saying out loud that I expect jail time! The entertainment industry is exactly that: an industry. It fully deserves to be held to the same standards of professionalism as other industries.

We The People cannot afford to give preferential treatment to a group of Suits, when artists like Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and Taylor Swift are the ones actually drawing the crowds. It’s crazy that Lady Gaga felt uncomfortable expressing herself AFTER she got a record deal.

And those words are what make the case! “Lady Gaga wasn’t allowed to express herself” doesn’t even make sense! She’s so weird and crazy, how does it make sense that anyone at her label looked at her and saw a problem? She is AWESOME. She stayed up late sewing all her own outfits!

 

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The central album in question is called The Fame Monster. It was originally entitled The Monster, but came out too close to her previous album The Fame (just the previous year) and her label told her that the audience would be confused (??????) by new music. I smell bullshit.

Instead of honoring Lady Gaga’s original dual-album concept, they botched the second title and issued it as The Fame Monster AND THEN under-promoted it, as the cover art featured Lady Gaga with her eyeballs bleeding black sludge.

Her label seems to have told her that audiences would be turned off by the dark imagery & themes, because apparently the geniuses at Interscope Records haven’t heard the album Thriller, the best selling album of all time, and oh by the way it’s about zombies and paranoia and abuse.

Then again, maybe I’m just crazy. I thought Thriller was the best-selling album of all time, but maybe the geniuses at Interscope Records have a point. I thought the best-selling album of all time was about zombies, but maybe the geniuses at Interscope Records are right.

Or maybe…

Maybe it is possible to do a criminally bad job representing an artist.

Apparently the people running Interscope Records missed the album Thriller, because they seem to have told Lady Gaga she’s not allowed to be herself.

Interscope Records was founded in 1990, so maybe it's possible that the founders spent the entire 1980s getting the company off the ground, and totally missed the best-selling album of all time being about zombies. It certainly would seem that way, at least from a governing standpoint.

The keyword is “SEEM,” which is why I’m calling for Congressional Investigations into what exactly happened at Interscope Records to make Lady Gaga feel like she couldn’t be herself (which, again, is just insane to say). Lady Gaga clearly earns a living by expressing herself uniquely, and she deserves to have the runway clear for her to fly.

It is possible to do a criminally bad job representing an artist.

As candidate for president in 2032 (and for pope in 2025) it is my position that Interscope Records must be investigated on the charge of violating the 13th amendment to the constitution, which banned slavery in the United States. Lady Gaga stayed up all night making her own outfits while she worked the underground club scene, all in the interest of getting an audience. Then her label SEEMS to have said her outfits were stopping the audience from liking her, even though that’s what got our attention in the first place. The haters & losers at Interscope Records are not allowed to discredit Lady Gaga’s YEARS of backbreaking labor. Slavery was outlawed a long time ago, and it’s time for Hollywood Suits to start acting like it.

Lady Gaga is being gaslit into believing that she and her outfits and her bleeding eyeballs are the problem. As fans, we owe it to her AND ourselves to stand up for an artist who works SO HARD to believe in herself. She is so brave! Lady Gaga is so brave everyday, and her music deserves to be celebrated!

 

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Like I said, I'm putting the finishing touches on a relaunch of all of Lady Gaga's early music, so it (and she) can be fully and lastingly celebrated the way it (and she) should be. 

Artists like Lady Gaga are essential for democracy to thrive!

Here are the 5 albums:

1st is The Fame (ian’s version), and I consider it her “getting ready” album, which I try to represent with a cover photo of her putting together her homemade outfit behind a curtain! This album has a 2000s hip-hop/r&b sound, which was the top music genre at the time she was working the underground club scene trying to make a name for herself. I think she is SO impressive.

2nd is The Monster (ian’s version), and her idea in 2009 was that first you have the fame (with the flashing lights, bars, money, etc) but THEN you have the monster (the paranoia, greed, isolation, etc). This album is much more in keeping with the image of Lady Gaga. Dark, gritty, weird, electronic, and AWESOME. 

3rd is Dance in the Dark (ian’s version), which is basically an artistic development of The Monster. The songs are a bit longer, a bit more bold, a bit more dramatic, and a lot more dark. The name is based on the song Dance In The Dark. 

This seems to be one of her songs that seems to have gotten buried. I smell bullshit. 

Apparently her label wanted Dance In The Dark to be one of the singles from the album, but she said no. She comes up with all her outfits, videos, songs, choreography, etc all at once. She probably knew that some element of this meaningful song would hit some arbitrary issue, based on un-constructive criticism from previous efforts.

I. Smell. Bullshit.

Her entire fame+monster dual album idea got totally botched and re-released numerous times, eventually as one very clunky and awkward package entitled “the fame monster,” and as a fan at the time, I was very disillusioned!

I split her original album “the fame” into two distinct (Ian’s version) albums: The Fame and The Monster

Then I took her second album “the fame monster” (with the bleeding eyeballs) and made this third album called Dance in the Dark. You can even see what I mean about her 3 albums of content being offered up as 1 album, AND the geniuses at Interscope Records acting like Lady Gaga is the problem. 

So even after all of this (ian’s version) celebration, her initial dual-album concept of “the fame + the monster” gets botched! 

Hence the investigations.

Where’s the poop, interscope? Because I smell some bullshit.

As seen above, I split her “first” album into three distinct sounds. Sabotage!

As seen below, I split her “second” album into two more distinct sounds. J’accuse!

4th is The Meat Dress (ian’s version), which her label thought would stop everyone from buying her music! It’s still talked about to this day, and her label completely misunderstood it, and I think they pushed her away from ever doing anything like this. If they didn’t want Lady Gaga, they shouldn’t’ve signed her! This album has a rock-heavy sound, as that was her favorite genre in the 80s growing up. End of story. She likes music, so she makes music. She’s an ARTIST.

She wore the meat dress to announce her song Born This Way, from the album Born This Way. Despite the massive publicity that her meat dress gave to her upcoming Born This Way era, her label thought that no one would buy the album (????) and they discounted the price, which is an industry-known method of boosting sales for projects that are flopping and need a hand.

(For example, I’m a Mariah Carey fan, we’re called Lambs, and the lead single for her Glitter album literally tanked so hard it had to be discounted to 49 cents and still couldn’t hit number 1; it actually peaked at number 2, and I consider it the time Mariah Carey took a giant number-2 all over the charts lol)

Anyway, this type of sales discount is not intended to be done BEFORE an album hits the shelves. Discounting Mariah Carey’s glitter song came with the explanation that the chart position was achieved via a lower price. Interscope Records was perfectly fine cheapening Lady Gaga’s image, all in the interest of willfully misunderstanding her career. Her meat dress is still talked about to this day! 

I’m a Mariah Carey fan and I am OUTRAGED on behalf of Lady Gaga, and you should be too!

As a fan, nay, as a civilized human being, I demand to know who at Interscope Records thought that the massive publicity surrounding Lady Gaga’s meat dress would result in low sales for Born This way.

5th and final is Born This Way (ian’s version), which came out in 2011

This was her final truly “elevated” pop album until 2025’s Mayhem. Artpop and Chromatica were her attempts to lift herself up, but she was flying with a broken arm. It's time to give her a sword.

Lady Gaga works so hard to believe in herself, and does not deserve for her image to be a constant fight! Why are the people around her not helping lift her up?

 

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After years of label struggles, a light was extinguished! And since Taylor Swift and Beyoncé each made billions of dollars on tour, artistic integrity is clearly a matter of federal urgency! 


Lady Gaga is back with elevated concepts, and she should never have felt like she needed to leave in the first place!  


Oscars and Jokers and Tony Bennetts are fine, whatever, and respect is great I guess, but I’m here for the weird stuff. I’m here for the bleeding eyeballs, and it’s back. I love Halloween. The album Thriller exists. 


If the geniuses at Interscope Records didn’t want an artist who sews her own outfits, they shouldn’t’ve signed an artist who sews her own outfits! 


I listen to Mariah Carey, and I am OUTRAGED on behalf of Lady Gaga, and you should be too!  


Lady Gaga is one of our most luminous stars, and based on Taylor Swift & Beyoncé’s touring numbers, (again, $3 billion is more than the GDP of Kansas, my home state) we literally cannot AFFORD for Lady Gaga to be stepped on by a bunch of bullies! 


I personally feel that if Lady Gaga really was so difficult to manage, then the geniuses at Interscope Records should’ve dropped her from the label and found someone else, since they are so all-knowing, and must obviously be capable of finding any old singer who sells millions and millions of copies. 


As candidate for president in 2032 (and for pope in 2025) I am calling on the FBI to raid Interscope Records. I am calling for Congressional Investigations. I am calling for jail time. 


I work in the entertainment industry and it is toxic 24/7. I want to know what was said behind closed doors that made Lady Gaga feel uncomfortable expressing herself.

It is possible to do a criminally bad job representing an artist. 


Justice for Lady Gaga! MeToo is still happening. The Hollywood Suits need to be reminded that slavery was abolished a long time ago. 


The cover photos are chosen and the track lists are ready.  


Please sign, share, and put your PAWS UP!



TLDR: Justice for Lady Gaga!