Join the movement to declare war on snakes!
Join the movement to declare war on snakes!
The Issue
We have urgent matters to pass along to you. Our precious freedoms are under attack by a slithering menace that lurks in the darkest corners of our society. Following the success of the War on Drugs, we urge you to take up the next most urgent issue: The Rise of Snakes in Washington State. We are demanding harsher penalties on snakes, and more money dedicated to crackdowns on those communities where they have run rampant.
We have seen too many families, too many communities ripped apart by the corrupting influence of snakes. Think of the children! Every day, vulnerable children are exposed to snakes by their peers. At this age, they’re still impressionable. They’re told it’s “cool” to do snakes. And if they try them even once, it’s a slithery slope to addiction.
Now, snake apologists are saying that out of the dozen or so species of snakes native to Washington state, only one, the Western rattlesnake, is venomous enough to be a danger to humans. They will also say that they are conveniently not found in Western Washington (CPR Seattle). But we see through their lies.
Our precious freedoms are under attack by an enemy that has slithered undetected among us for too long. This latest domestic enemy is not content with unhinging its jaw to swallow its prey, it is willing to unhinge our democracy to swallow our society whole.
Look to your left, now look to your right. You see two hot-blooded Americans. Now look down. You see a cold-blooded reptile. “Don’t tread on me,” says the snake. But what protections do we humans have against snake-on-human violence? “Don’t bite on me,” says the law-abiding human citizen. Snakes do not follow the law. Snakes have no concern for our precious law and order. Yet the chaos they sew goes unpunished because of a real Washington law prohibiting citizens from executing fatal justice on these slithering anarchists lest they feel threatened(cited WAtoday)(RCW 77.15.430, RCW 77.15.130).
We say no more! Today we begin the War on Snakes. We will fight for your right to put your foot down, as is your freedom as a biped.
We know this is an unpopular position to take: snakes have infiltrated the government at all levels and already control the media. Please know that we stand with you on our own human feet, not on the wobbly snakes that prop up our enemies. We trust that you will do your duty as a bastion against the serpentine elite and make the right choice.
14
The Issue
We have urgent matters to pass along to you. Our precious freedoms are under attack by a slithering menace that lurks in the darkest corners of our society. Following the success of the War on Drugs, we urge you to take up the next most urgent issue: The Rise of Snakes in Washington State. We are demanding harsher penalties on snakes, and more money dedicated to crackdowns on those communities where they have run rampant.
We have seen too many families, too many communities ripped apart by the corrupting influence of snakes. Think of the children! Every day, vulnerable children are exposed to snakes by their peers. At this age, they’re still impressionable. They’re told it’s “cool” to do snakes. And if they try them even once, it’s a slithery slope to addiction.
Now, snake apologists are saying that out of the dozen or so species of snakes native to Washington state, only one, the Western rattlesnake, is venomous enough to be a danger to humans. They will also say that they are conveniently not found in Western Washington (CPR Seattle). But we see through their lies.
Our precious freedoms are under attack by an enemy that has slithered undetected among us for too long. This latest domestic enemy is not content with unhinging its jaw to swallow its prey, it is willing to unhinge our democracy to swallow our society whole.
Look to your left, now look to your right. You see two hot-blooded Americans. Now look down. You see a cold-blooded reptile. “Don’t tread on me,” says the snake. But what protections do we humans have against snake-on-human violence? “Don’t bite on me,” says the law-abiding human citizen. Snakes do not follow the law. Snakes have no concern for our precious law and order. Yet the chaos they sew goes unpunished because of a real Washington law prohibiting citizens from executing fatal justice on these slithering anarchists lest they feel threatened(cited WAtoday)(RCW 77.15.430, RCW 77.15.130).
We say no more! Today we begin the War on Snakes. We will fight for your right to put your foot down, as is your freedom as a biped.
We know this is an unpopular position to take: snakes have infiltrated the government at all levels and already control the media. Please know that we stand with you on our own human feet, not on the wobbly snakes that prop up our enemies. We trust that you will do your duty as a bastion against the serpentine elite and make the right choice.
14
The Decision Makers
Petition created on March 23, 2021