In 2010 I was a statistic. I was a statistic in 2011. I was a statistic in 2012. I was a statistic in 2013. I was a statistic in 2014. I was a statistic in 2015. I was a statistic in 2016. I was a statistic in 2017. I was a statistic in 2018. I was a statistic in 2019. I was a statistic in 2020. I'm not sure which I am more fearful of, being a statistic in 2021, or not surviving long enough to be one in 2022.

I fled from our Rockford home with the Court's permission to remove myself and my 3 daughters from an abusive environment, but the judicial system makes it near impossible to continue fighting for my safety and my children's wellbeing. I can only imagine how many women are forced to reconcile and return to a dangerous environment because the abuser could afford attorneys to bury a case with pleadings, even a victim's very initial request for temporary support or maintenance. How is it that the average non-custodial parent faces serious legal ramifications for failure to pay child support, but one who has paid $0.00 despite significant resources is afforded the ability to willfully deprive the other parent/survivor and child(ren)? How long does it take for justice to prevail? How can a police department be in possession of clear evidence of stalking, violating an Order of Protection, terms of probation and even the tangible tracking devices but the State's Attorney's Office declines to pursue charges? How can DCFS deem a report to be unfounded without even talking to, let alone seeing the subject child(ren)? 

When a wealthy abuser has complete financial control, and the resources for a victim and her minor children are exhausted after a dissolution action is allowed to drag on for 9 years and counting, a 2 year marriage becomes an 11 year marriage (and counting).

During that timeframe there were numerous domestic incidents and reports, domestic battery and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, and the ongoing reported concerns of child abuse and "exposure to harmful materials". With unlimited financial resources and connections, the charges that resulted in conviction (which are not supposed to be eligible) were expunged, and the revocation for fraudulent application of FOID (firearms owners identification) card was ignored and eventually reinstated. Despite numerous reports of violence, stalking, death threats and Orders of Protection, delay tactics have been effective in continuing to revictimize survivors of domestic violence. Illinois DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) has done multiple investigations, one founded that was later overturned on appeal (due to a technicality). Another investigation was completed and closed without the investigator ever making contact with the child(ren), the same children DCFS was contacted about numerous times with concerns of child abuse by multiple agencies, spanning over a time period of many years. Children, my daughters, are being shown their voices are insignificant when speaking out about violence at home. They have shared their experiences with me. They have opened up to counselors, teachers, trusted friends and family members. They have shared their experiences with advocates, and even a Guardian ad Litem. They have opened up to police. All of this is well documented, but each agency seems to be depending on the next agency or governing body to do what their intended purpose is. The system has failed them on many many levels. This is exactly how to perpetuate the cycle of abuse.  

This 11 year reign of terror needs to end. I believe the following changes/additions to laws and guidelines need to be implemented and enforced, so that survivors have a chance of living their own lives and breaking the cycle of abuse. As laws currently are (and maybe more importantly are not) enforced, victims don't have viable options other than to reconcile, withdraw petitions, or just not show up for hearings or participate in prosecution and play by an abuser's rules:

• DCFS should (sparsely) grant extensions on investigations when additional information can be gained through ongoing criminal investigations with cooperating agencies. In the event a case worker goes on vacation the investigation should be extended rather than rushing through to meet the 60-day deadline. Field investigators should keep their supervising director’s information on a pre-printed form or card to provide as necessary to avoid any misinformation which could potentially interfere with due process. 
• There should be something in place to trigger deeper investigations when DCFS is contacted by a certain number of entities/mandated reporters over a span of a certain amount of time, regardless of the outcome of said investigations. If there are multiple reporters over multiple years, there is clearly an issue, and if the investigations result in being unfounded, it’s possible that the issue could be the investigating agency.   
• Findings by DCFS cannot be thrown out on appeal for faults with technicalities, where the welfare of any child is adversely impacted by the inability/incompetency of DCFS. DCFS investigations are not exclusively criminal in nature. While following procedures is an essential part of an appeals process, dismissing a complaint that previously was determined to have been founded only harms the child(ren).
• Duration of divorce proceedings should be capped by the duration of the marriage (or some formula/equation to determine the time allowed to address issues) with the exception being terms that both parties are agreeable to.
• Emergency or expedited hearings on child support shall be made available in a timely manner, and the courts shall prioritize petitions directly impacting the welfare and/or basic needs of the child(ren) over non-emergency petitions, i.e. vacation.
• People, family members, business entities etc., that participate in aiding and abetting i.e. “gifting”, phantom loans, tax fraud, etc. For the intentional purpose of willful deprivation, or minimizing a potential payer’s tax or support obligation, shall also be subject to punitive damages and criminal prosecution on an individual level.
• When a FOID card is fraudulently obtained, or revoked for a fraudulent application, there should be a penalty imposed and any subsequent applications should rigorously provide additional information.
• There should be parity in representation prior to plenary hearings on orders of protection. While requesting attorney fees is one of the remedies a petitioner can request, if one party retains an attorney prior to a plenary hearing there should be statutory guidelines in place to also provide the opposing party with means to retain counsel as well, to provide parity between parties.
• Any criminal investigating agency should be allowed to communicate directly with the Judge, or court commissioner presiding over any relevant cases where an Order of Protection is not yet in place, but where the investigating agent would have reason to believe a potential petitioner or vulnerable (minor) party is at risk of enduring physical, emotional, sexual or mental abuse, before a petition for an Order of Protection is filed or a plenary hearing is held.
• Any domestic abuse, battery or disorderly conduct that has previously been expunged or sealed shall remain open for attorneys/Judges to consider in any subsequent cases where said charges would provide additional consideration in those matters, particularly those proceeding involving the welfare of a minor child(ren).
• No charges that result from domestic abuse or aggravated assault with a deadly weapon should be allowed to be plead down to an infraction eligible for expungement or that which would provide the ability to obtain a FOID card.
• Victims in domestic abuse cases should be counseled by the prosecuting attorney to be advised of what potential outcomes could arise or become available to an abuser, and sign documentation acknowledging such, prior to any charges being reduced or dropped.
• Victims should be provided documentation i.e. court supervision orders that have stipulations pertaining to the victim, along with information detailing how the victim is to report any violations of said orders.  

Just a few months ago, on my birthday actually, a woman from the same city I lived in, the same County our domestics were/are reported to, was found murdered at the hands of her abuser, after filing 2 petitions for an Order of Protection. These were filed and heard at the same courthouse my OPs have been filed and heard. Her story is tragic and heartbreaking. While reading this article I saw so many eerie similarities to my nightmare, including my Judge being the same Judge that oversaw her first petition. The article from February 7, 2021 is titled "How the death of a Rockford woman who died after reporting abuse exposed weakness in justice system" (link below).

• On a typical day, local domestic violence hotlines receive approximately 19,159 calls, an average of
  approximately 13 calls every minute.
• In 2018, domestic violence accounted for 20% of all violent crime 
• In Illinois more than 1 victim of domestic violence is murdered every 5 days per Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence annual report

I don't want that to be the way my story ends for me or my girls, and for that reason I continue to push forward.  

In 2010 I was a statistic. I was a statistic in 2011. I was a statistic in 2012. I was a statistic in 2013. I was a statistic in 2014. I was a statistic in 2015. I was a statistic in 2016. I was a statistic in 2017. I was a statistic in 2018. I was a statistic in 2019. I was a statistic in 2020. I'm not sure which I am more fearful of, being a statistic in 2021, or not surviving long enough to be one in 2022.

How the death of a Rockford woman who died after reporting abuse exposed weakness in justice system​

2020 Domestic Violence in Illinois NCADV