Skipping "my story" for now to preface with some talking points:

Have you ever moved in, shacked up or lived with someone? How long?

Are you married?  How long?

Are you an Iowa resident?

THIS EFFECTS YOU!  YOUR LONG TERM LIVELIHOOD COULD BE AT STAKE.

Cohabitation lessens ones financial burden verses living alone.  In all likelihood, given the percentages, you know first hand.  I myself have benefited financially from cohabitation, both within and outside of traditional marriage.

Did you know Iowa doesn't impose, assume or rule couples are married under common law?  This determination is left entirely up to the couple involved.  Despite what people tell you about that proverbial "7 year rule", that is not a recognized rule or law in the State of Iowa.  Look it up.  The criteria for common law and legal marriage are much the same.  One requires a certificate, witnesses and an official.  The other does not.  Details available here: https://www.legis.iowa.gov/docs/iac/rule/04-12-2006.701.73.25.pdf

Did you know Iowa has an unwritten "20 year rule" pertaining to legal marriage?  Yet it still does not assume common law marriage, for any number of years.  *The 20 year rule is when the marriage is considered to be long term and the breadwinner is stripped of more when considering alimony and the division of assets.

Now, how many stories or people do you know of, where one leaves a cohabitation-al relationship and receives (p)alimony?  Not that many, but it happens and there is legal precedence (but no laws in the book) in Iowa.  *Ruling made.

How many people do you know that either pay or receive alimony? 

Did you know Iowa doesn't have a set "payment schedule" or "calculator" (similar to what's used for child support) to determine if or how much alimony should be rewarded like other states do?  *This is determined by your judge, their mood, their upbringing...

Did you know, even if alimony is modified or terminated, it isn't retroactive back to the date of filing?  Not even 90 days like child support is here.

To learn more on why I'm passionate about these topics, please read on and sign my petition before you go.  Your signature will help carry forward the needed changes to Iowa's legal code.

My story.

In 2010, I got divorced after 21 years of marriage.  It was decreed my ex-wife would keep the family home and mortgage and I would pay $1,300 per month as spousal support (alimony).  This will continue until 2032 baring my death or her remarriage, unless modified.  

How this amount was arrived upon is unknown, as I was never provided any type of itemized worksheet or form, since they're nonexistent.  Our current incomes and expenses were obviously taken into account, which I feel skewed the outcome, since we were separated and I was renting "a room", (literally), with utilities included for $300/mo. when financials were submitted.

In 2012/2013 she moved out of the awarded residence and has cohabited with another man for the last 10+ years.  In 2014 I was contacted by the mortgage company with threats of foreclosure, due to 3+ years of nonpayment!  At this point, my sons, ages 18 and 23, remained in the home, which had been in my family since 1982.  The lesser evil of the options I was given, was to take over payments and eventually assume over $18,000 in penalties, fees and interest on top of the principal, which far exceeded the property value.  

Fast forward to Sept. 2022, I was terminated from my job of 18 years for excessive absenteeism due to a medical condition and I now await approval for SSDI.  If/when that is approved, my benefits are estimated to be $2,600/mo.

After filing for alimony modification and a first round of mediation, which the state requires, my ex-wife and her lawyer are steadfast that I should pay at least $700/mo.  Aside from the fact that the allocated portion of alimony intended to cover the mortgage ($400/mo) hasn't been spent there since 2011, I continue to pay it, while she lives in a home that by all indications is bought and paid for, with her significant other.  That's $57,600 over the last 12 years, in over-payment/misappropriated spending.

Though not married according to the State of Iowa, she has and continues to reap the financial benefits of a "married" person, at minimum by cost sharing of utilities and staples.  Or, perhaps she's a kept woman, with a $1,300 allowance.  Who really knows?

For all financial purposes, she's married, which would automatically terminate her alimony and cost me nothing.  Iowa law isn't logical on the topic though, so now I've nearly exhausted my savings paying alimony and legal retainers. 

All in, I'm faced with accepting SSDI minus $700/mo. or, rolling the dice to go to trial with an uncertain outcome and additional legal expenses.  Even if the ruling is in my favor, the unpaid alimony after next month (when I'll be unable to pay) will accumulate as will legal costs.  If laws existed in Iowa, assuming eventual Common Law marriage and/or had administrative tools for calculating alimony this would be a cut and dried case, one way or the other. 

The fix.

I intend to present our law makers with a proposed bill amendment to address everything wrong about what you just read.  Namely, amending the legal code to redefine when couples are considered married under common law, removing the loophole that behooves one to remain single for profit; as well as creating a system for calculating alimony. Please sign, forward, post, tweet or whatever you do, to all your Iowa friends.  Your signature matters.  Thank you.