The postpartum period after my son’s birth is a journey that I’m still grappling with. Everything seemed perfect the night of his birth as we prepared to welcome him into the world. The labor of child birth felt empowering until it was time to push. The moment turned surreal when the OB informed me that my son had no heartbeat. Instead of gently communicating the information of urgency, I was told to just push harder. Panic surged through me as I pushed without contractions, my sister’s voice urging me on while the world around us moved agonizingly slow. I feared Kyrie was gone for good, thinking this was a cruel twist of fate for all the dark moments I had endured. I pushed not just to bring my baby into the world, but to bring life into him.

When my son finally arrived, he was alive and healthy—his heart had never stopped. A nurse later apologized for the OB’s rashness and harshness, and that was when my anxiety truly began. I became consumed by the fear of losing him. I convinced myself that my happiness would be snatched away despite my love for my son. I felt abandoned by the very system meant to support me. 

My public health nurse stopped responding to my attempts to find answer's as to why I never received the critical depression and anxiety assessment. I reached out for help, only to be referred to a psychiatrist multiple times without any follow-up. I was also threatened with a Child and Family Services.

For month’s on end I battled panic attacks and intrusive thoughts. I struggled to understand how joy could spiral into despair. As a mother of two I felt invisible I felt tossed aside as if my suffering didn’t matter. Many nights were spent next to my baby, tears streaming down my face, longing for a solution that never came despite me trying everything I could. No psych unit would accommodate both of us, leaving me isolated and lost.

The lack of resources, communication and understanding within the healthcare system is staggering. If only there had been more support, more opportunities for mothers like me to speak openly about our struggle's. I could have been present for my older son’s first day of kindergarten and witnessed my baby’s first milestones at home.

My journey to finally receive help was delayed until my son reached seven months.  I ended up hospitalized for almost seven weeks in psychiatric care. This is not a fairy tale story; it is sadly and has continued to be a never ending story that resonates with too many mothers around the world. 

Postpartum depression and postnatal mental health issues is often misunderstood and neglected, leading to preventable hardships for new and current mothers. Routine postnatal depression tests are crucial but too often ignored. This cannot be allowed to continue.

I and all the selfless women who give birth to us all call for the improvement of postpartum programming and health services. We urge health authorities to prioritize mental health education and to ensure routine postnatal depression screenings for all mothers. We also call out for better support and intervention systems, robust enough to never miss a mother in need who’s fears to reach out due to punitive actions might be taken against them. Every mother deserves to be heard, supported, and helped - without delay or fear. Please add your signature to this important cause and help us press for necessary change.

Additionally, you can take part in this survey and be apart of the research being conducted to present to health professionals! All responses are anonymous… Here is the link: https://forms.gle/BNFg1e7XehLeee6S7