Recently a very close friend of mine who I call Ghilo and care for dearly lost someone very close to him in such a heartbreaking way. Ghilo's girlfriend broke up with him after a startling revelation made by the girlfriend of my friend that came upon after she told him, "I think I'm <deleted because Ghilo is still traumatized>." Being his closest friend, he came to me in hopes of comfort, unfortunately, I was at a loss of words. As a result of my inability to cheer up such a friend, he immediately abandoned hope as he broke down in tears and was reduced to a zombie like state where he just lied on his bed. Lacking the will to get up and denying his basic need for using the bathroom, he stayed there for several hours covered in urine and feces. Now I am not this pathetic being man and all, but even in my darkest days after a rough session of playing Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom online, I rely on my two closest waifus, Felicia-chan and Rachel-chan to cheer me up with a tense cuddle session.
My friend does not have such waifus to go to, which is why I have decided to petition Hobby Heart to start a line of Assassins Creed dakimakuras using Ezio Auditore and Altair as the representatives. Being his favorite series, I can only imagine the joy that would overwhelm him during those stressful times after a nice cuddle or even humping of his beloved dream husbandos. This would literally be a dream cum true for him as he himself believes that he has ancestors that were assassins. It would be fitting for him to be able to lie in the same bed, holding his role models close in his arms.