For decades, a great evil has been gestating under the city of Seattle, Washington. But the government has done NOTHING about it, even going so far as to IGNORE the issue present. We Seattleites have had it up to HERE with this lazy approach to the ever-present scourge of the Brood Mother.

But what IS the Brood Mother, you might ask? This question shows how little the government teaches us about the issue, that many will ask "What is the Brood Mother?" Well, I will enlighten you. The Brood Mother is a colossal pyramid of flesh and bone forming under our fair city. It started sometime after the Great Seattle Fire, in a cavern sealed by rubble and ash. For decades and decades, it sat there, unhindered. And, after all this time, partly helped by the incompetency of our leaders, the Brood Mother has grown drastically. It is nearing time for the Broodrising, when the Brood will erupt from the streets and swallow us in a wave of flesh.

Now you ask "How have I not noticed?" This is by design of the Brood Mother. For, if somebody saw it, they would report it, and that would put pressure on the politicians to stop it. Instead, it uses more sneaky approaches, ensnaring small animals and dragging them to the stomach chambers to be processed. It turns out that coyotes aren't the ones eating cats; it's the Mother. The excess is converted into egg pouches, where the young grow and mature before being released to tend to the Mother. As we speak, Warriors and Drones fill the gaps underneath the Portside, waiting and watching. Eventually, when the Mother becomes confident enough to emerge, it will be too late.

How can we stop this?

To stop this, I propose we send in specialized exterminators. We all know that the only thing that hurts it the most is Fire, and thus, it fears the Flame. It may be costly, but hundreds of thousands of people 's lives are worth the price. We must destroy it's heart to kill it and all of its brood, before it takes over and makes the task nigh impossible.

Why not do it later?

To put it off is a risky gambit. As we speak, it forms an egg for its heir; when it consumes us all, the heir will be transported to a nearby place to gestate as its mother has. If we wait, any day may be the day when it erupts from the Earth and slays us all. We must act decisively, and with assurance.

Are you insane?

No.

With your signature, we can help put this thing at bay for a little while longer, and keep our government accountable for its actions. I know this may seem preposterous, but it is all true.

I hope I have convinced you.