My daughter and I went to Coquitlam center mall on December 28, 2020. It should have been a fun visit but turned out to be a traumatic one. We went to the Guess store to exchange a belt, however, they did not have the right size, so we lined up for the sales desk to order it online. We were in the line-up waiting when a White woman came and stood right beside us. This has happened to me numerous times before when White people seem to not notice Black, Indigenous, Brown or any racialized bodies. As an immigrant to this country at the age of eight, my parents instilled in us to be polite and never question the actions of the very good White folks who let us stay in their country. Back then I complied not knowing that we were on stolen land with an extensive history of genocide. But now at 44 years old I know better. I also want my children to know better. So, in that moment my heart started racing as this White woman was standing right beside us in the middle of a pandemic not caring for our safety or wellbeing. She was also doing a great job of pretending that she did not see two breathing Brown beings standing beside her. Time and time again White privilege just sneaks up on racialized bodies no matter where we are or how much we try to escape it. In that split second I had to decide to either quietly and politely let her budge or refuse to let another white person ignore my child and my existence. What happened next was neither of those two options. My daughter and I both looked at each other and I said to her "I guess we aren’t practising social distancing". The woman was standing so close to us that she heard my comment and we finally became visible to her. She firmly responded, “excuse me". I had a verge of courage in that moment and said we were here first and the next person should stand there on the circle as I pointed to the marker on the floor for the lineup. She said, "no, I was here first". I realized that this will not go well unless I practised what I was taught as a child, which was to be polite to the White folks no matter what. But suddenly I heard my daughter saying no we were here first. My daughter has not been raised to please White folks as I was. She has been taught to see whiteness and its privilege for what it is, and she has been taught to love her Brown skin no matter what. So, I took my daughter's hands, held her close to me, and we both moved to the back. As I did that, I told the woman ‘I guess you are going to be a "Karen" and occupy our space’. My daughter then did the unthinkable and said the "R" word. She told the lady that she was being racist and showing her white privilege by budging in front of us. The woman told my daughter to "fuck off" and gave us the middle finger. She did all this with a smirk on her face and with a very calm demeanour. The calm demeanour as you swear at a child and a mother is the confidence in your whiteness. Whiteness is a protective shield that gives White folks security while being aggressive to racialized bodies. With my voice trembling I loudly called out to the manager. When the manager arrived, I felt a sense of relief. I explained to her what had occurred and suggested that the woman should leave the store. The manager said that she was not allowed to do that. She also stated she never heard her swearing so she cannot intervene. I then became aware that I was the darkest skin Brown woman in the store and my experience was not going to be believed, let alone a safe space would be created for us in this store. I asked the manager to check the video surveillance in the store if they had it. The manager did not respond and went to the White woman and started doing her transaction. Then I heard the manager apologize to the woman for the scene that I was creating. So, another narrative was forming as to what had occurred and it was that the White woman had done nothing wrong and my Brown skin was the proof of my guilt. I continued to speak and said, “you are apologizing to her while she budged and swore at us”. I said this is all so racist. The manager and the other sales associate insisted that it had nothing to do with being racist and it had everything to do with me creating a disturbance. I now felt this urgent need to have evidence to protect my daughter and myself, so I grabbed my phone and started recording. I recorded for a minute and then my phone died. The manager told me that I was not allowed to take her picture and I needed to stop. Then the manger instructed the other sales associate to call security. For a brief moment I could not believe what was happening. Not now, not after all that racialized individuals have been through. Then I came back to reality and knew this was our punishment for stepping out of place and calling out white privilege. Several times I asked the manager for her name and she continued to ignore me. She continued to help all the other customers while apologizing to them for the disturbance that I was creating. Then when security came, we explained our stories and the White woman admitted that she swore at us. However, there was no acknowledgment or apology from the manager to us. I was then told by the manager and the security to leave the store. I assured them I would once they exchanged my belt, but the manager refused. She then instructed the security to call the police. Then with a satisfied look on her face she told us that the police were on their way. The White woman left as a satisfied Guess customer while the Brown mother and daughter were now waiting for the police to attend. Security suggested that we go to another Guess location to return the belt. I explained that in the middle of a pandemic I should not have to be driving out of my community to another one. The manger, sales associate, and security insisted that I created a scene, and my voice was loud. This whole situation turned into tone policing us. We were not supposed to call out white privilege when the lady budged, and we were supposed to remain calm and have a proper tone of voice while being told to ‘fuck off’. Such unrealistic and inhumane demands are always posed on racialized people when we speak up against injustice.

 

 

 

I went on to tell the manager that by calling the police she is perpetuating racism and putting our lives at risk. At this time, the manager said it had nothing to do with race because she was not white. I said even if you are not white, you are a person of authority who just called the police on a Brown mother and daughter. White supremacy is not limited to just Whites folks to uphold. Living in this world white supremist ideology is ingrained in all of us. The hierarchy that white is better than the rest has been the devastating effects of colonization in every part of the world. So, even racialized individuals can fall into the trap of upholding white supremacy and its unspoken rules. The manager chose to believe the White woman over us. She apologized to the White woman and not us. She refused to do my transaction and called security and the police on us. Our dark Brown skin meant we were the problem. My trembling voice meant that my tone was aggressive, our assertive vocabulary of calling out white privilege and racism meant that we were creating a scene. Her implicit biases and ingrained white supremist ideologies were very clear. Our beautiful dark Brown skin meant to her that we were the antagonist.

I started to then break down and could not help but cry. I saw the disappointment in my daughter's eyes, so I held back my tears and asked the manager again to please do my transaction. The manager said Okay. I finally felt that somehow, we got through to her. However, that was not it, she saw the vulnerability in my tears and gave me an ultimatum. She said she would only do my transaction if I deleted the video. The video was the only small piece of evidence, so I refused. She then replied that the police should be here shortly and will be taking away my phone. That is when the real terror of the police attending the scene hit me. I pictured myself being held out of the Guess store in handcuffs in front of my child. So, I quickly grabbed my belt from the counter, held my daughters’ hand tightly and started to leave the store. The manager started to follow us while yelling that we were now not allowed to leave. I told her she had no authority to hold us there without my consent. As I walked out the Guess store, the manager's last attempt to humiliate us in front of a line of people at the door, was loudly stating that we were never allowed back at her store again.

Once home, I decided to make a formal complaint to Guess and leave it at that. However, the next morning, I experienced overwhelming anxiety as I knew more needed to be done. My 12-year daughter just experienced racialized trauma. With the privileges that I carry as an able body, cisgender, financially stable Brown woman I had to share our story to prevent this happening to another racialized person. I do not want Guess to brush this under the rug. Please sign this petition and ask Guess to do the following:

1. Remove the manager from her position and provide her with anti-racism training before she can work with the public again.

 

2. Make a mandatory policy to provide all Guess managers with anti-racism training.

 

3. An apology for my daughter and our experience

 

 Tell Guess #no more pushing women of colour to the back of the line and #no more calling security and the police on racialized mothers and daughters.