As a mental health professional, I am watching the growing amount of mental illness in my practice. I do not want to gender specify because physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse impact 10 million people every year; as many as one in four women and one in nine men are victims of domestic violence. 

What is the percentage of children who are raised in abusive domestic violence? Approximately one in four children experience child abuse or neglect in their lifetime. Of maltreated children, 18 percent are abused physically, 78 percent are neglected, and 9 percent are abused sexually. 

Now let's look at our state for DV statistics. 42.5% of women and 27.9% of men in the state of Indiana live in abusive homes. In the US, roughly 16% of children experience some form of abuse, including physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. 7.18% of parents have a permissive parenting style which meets the clinical definition of bad parenting. Yet, when a parent stands up for themselves or their children, they are treated like the "Bad Parent" by the legal system. 

The clinical definition of “Bad Parenting” is; Physical abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse which are the most serious and damaging behavior traits that most of us equate with bad parenting. These are things that should be immediately addressed with professional help.

Emotional, passive, permissive parenting needs to be subject to the same consequences as of physical and sexual abuse. Just because there are no visible scars, we are causing a rise in mental illness by placing children in homes where they do not feel emotionally and/or physically safe, just because they are biological parents. 

We are seeing more Narcissistic PD, Borderline PD, Avoidant PD, Obsessive-Compulsive PD, Paranoid PD, Antisocial PD, Schizoid PD, Dependent PD, Histrionic PD, Trauma induced ADHD and Codependency in our clients starting in teen years and up, causing the cycles to continue.  

Again, just because we cannot see the internal bruising, open, and festering wounds; they are there and visible in the negative reactions. The cycle of abuse does not end until we get serious about mental health being another component in the court system. 

The reasons why most victims stay is because the financial cost and abuse of the abusers make them believe that they can protect their children more in the relationship. Either way there are no winners. We need help and answers for the victims that do not spiral them into a financial hole even more than the divorce itself. 

I would like to propose a change in the family court system. The courts would have a court appointed GAL for all custody cases. The children would have a court appointed therapist along with mom/dad doing high conflict co-parenting. The GAL will only speak to the children and the children’s therapist. The GAL will speak to the parent’s therapist when they have had enough sessions with the therapist to get a good understanding. This takes the financial links out of the family case and also brings mental health into play.