Our dear friend Ken is currently enrolled in one (yes, just one) credit hour, and frankly, it's unacceptable. While the rest of us are out here grinding through full course loads, he’s living the luxurious life of a part-time scholar, claiming he “can’t afford more classes” because he lives in Woodridge and spends all his money on expensive outfits. Unfortunately, his free time is consumed by, well… activities that aren’t exactly enriching (we won’t go into detail, but let’s just say his screen time consists of apps that rhyme with Berome and Prankbang).

We, the concerned friends of Ken, demand that he reallocates at least some of his spending from overpriced jackets and leather boots to his actual education. The world needs a more well-rounded Ken, and one class just isn’t going to cut it.

Sign this petition to encourage Ken to stop flexing and start registering for more classes. Together, we can fight academic negligence—one credit hour at a time. #MoreClassesLessDrip