Why is there a poop emoji but not a pee emoji???

When our children open their phones, what do they see? The emoji keyboard, of course! This tool is how the modern world communicates, and we need the next generation to have the knowledge of what really matters in society.

As we all know, the FDA has always had the power to say what is and isn't a "food." Everything we do is entrenched in this fact--if I want to eat a "paper", I am allowed to do so, because the FDA has guaranteed it as part of our American laws. Because of this, it makes sense that we have many paper emoji. When you text my dad, you get to use those emojis to talk about wanting to eat some papers.

The sad truth is that this logic doesn't carry over to pee. The FDA has made the needlessly cruel decision to bar this from the list called: "Official Food/." As a result, little babies and kids don't get to eat pee. Worse, they don't get to text my dad about it.

I ask you this--do you feel comfortable knowing that pets, and kids, can't use the "pee emoji" and therefore are unaware of its deserving status as "food?" My dad certainly does not.

Your representatives at Washington don't want you to know that pee should be a "food." In this time of uncertainty, we need the "pee emoji" if any of us are going to be in communication with my dad. He is getting sick of people using the "lemon" emoji to refer to the pee they want because a lemon is just yellow, and that's it.

My dad will be much happier if you can use the "pee emoji." But until the suits in the FDA agree that I can eat a "pee," just like how I can eat a "paper" (it's the same process, by the way!), my dad and every little kid just won't stop screaming.