TL;DR: Fetch adds an unnecessary middleman to a package delivery system that already works. We don't want to be forced to use it. If you agree, sign the petition below and help us preserve the radical concept of having your mail delivered to your address

Dear Fellow Residents,

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Golly gee. Getting packages is just far too convenient”. Have you ever clicked “buy it now” and had the experience of your item arriving directly to your apartment’s concierge team successfully? Does this sound suspiciously functional? Do you dream of having your overnighted package show up overnight + 1 day? Does the idea of paying for same-day Amazon delivery so that your package can be safely delivered between 10am-3pm to... the Fetch warehouse on the other side of town, thrill and excite you? Do you ever walk down your hallway and wish there were more cardboard boxes on the ground? When DHL says they delivered your package but Fetch says they didn't receive it, are you looking forward to dealing with that?

Fear no more, because the benevolent executives at Gables Corp have heard our cries!

Enter Fetch: a revolutionary service that takes the incredibly complex idea of receiving a package at your address and asks, “But what if we sent it somewhere else first?”

Why should your package go directly to your apartment when it could instead go to a Fetch warehouse where another company can receive it, process it, store it, and eventually deliver it to you? Why rely on a company like UPS or FedEx to deliver something when you could rely on them AND a hot new startup (that everyone hates)?

Why have one company involved in delivering your package, when you could have TWO!?

This is the kind of forward thinking innovation that makes you proud to be a part of modern society.

With a 1.2 star rating, 300 BBB complaints in the last 3 years, their very own subreddit /r/EndFetch dedicated to hating them (yes, that's how good at being terrible they are), one can't help but wonder what motives a luxury complex with dedicated concierge would have for wanting to partner with them.

So, if you too have looked at this byzantine system of brilliance and thought “why the f*** are we doing this?” Then welcome! We are the revolutionists. The pioneers. The activists hiding behind a smartphone and a QR code.

We may not have the authority to make this decision, but we do have the ability to collectively complain about it.

Will management even read this? Will they be forced by their board of directors to respond with an AI generated email explaining that this decision has already been made and Fetch will “enhance the resident experience” or some such nonsense? Will capitalist vampires continue forcing unnecessary interfaces and abstractions into your life and charging you a subscription for it? Probably.

But that doesn't mean we have to accept it quietly. We can stand as a community and let them know. And maybe together we have a shot at changing their minds.

WE, THE UNDERSIGNED, REQUEST THAT:

• Our apartment complex not require residents to use Fetch for package delivery
• Residents be permitted to continue having packages delivered directly to the property using our existing shipping addresses
• Existing concierge/package services remain as-is to all residents who prefer them
• Management think harder about why inserting a third party package company into an otherwise functioning delivery system would actually improve anything