Establish a Donald J Trump Zero Dollar Bill

Firstly, never has a number been so illustrious and essential as the humble zero, yet so under-represented in the world of currency. Certainly, so many times it shares the limelight with a one, two, or five but when else has the opportunity been so apparent or poignant that one simply cannot be passed up?

‘Preposterous!’, one might assume so. A currency with no monetary value? What possible reason might one have for such a denomination? ‘Worthless!’, no doubt to some, yet what better way to carry a message? Who better represents this message than our 45th and 47th President?

Want to stiff your waitress? Want to really waste someone’s time counting out your bill payment? Want to make your contribution in the offering plate? Really want to make it rain at the strip club? With the Zero dollar bill you too could live large and in charge! Now perhaps you’re not interested in rolling deep, perhaps your Scrooge McDuck vault is already filled with crisp Benjamins? To that I say “You know your founding fathers well!”. Was it not he who was famous for his mastery of the printing press? Who distributed leaflets and newspapers and magazines to the masses? Who carried the message of freedom beyond the borders of our great nation? ”Sure, sounds about right.” Well here’s your chance to live like a founding father! With a zero dollar bill, you too could live like you own a machine that can stamp out colonial dollars ‘en masse’.

Remember! According to 18 U.S. Code 331 Defacing or Destroying currency is a Federal crime. This not only ensures that the message remains clear but also that the government is committed to and responsible for the preservation and protection of the dignity and reputation of the notes in question. If they show up to the bank with mustaches or horns or clown doodles they should be removed immediately from circulation and replaced for prosperity. I personally believe no matter what urges befall the good people of America, each stain should be treated with the same care and consideration as any other.

Please consider this petition, so rightly as you would, may it be necessary to ask yourself to what such value might you find in such a note? Is there humor or jest? Honor, trust, or love of country? Do we have need for such things? I believe now more than ever.