On July 7, 2020, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a popular radio talk show host and a certified Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) licensed in the state of California, shared her “Call of the Day” on her popular syndicated radio program Dr. Laura. Schlessinger’s behavior during this call has resulted in outrage from our community members. A female caller named “Torri” phoned in asking for the radio host’s advice concerning how she might continue a relationship with her mother after making a surprise genetic discovery about her paternal parentage. Schlessinger responded with pointed and offensive comments, and abused this woman with derogatory and judgmental statements, name calling, and insults such as:

"...So what? Who gives a sh**? That’s her private life. She gave you a wonderful man to raise you, whom you consider your Daddy. What if you had been adopted? Who the hell cares? She did the wrong thing with a jerk and then she did the right thing with the guy who raised you.” 

“...I seriously would rather smack you across the head than anything else right now, you ungrateful little twit. You insensitive, ungrateful twit.”

“...You better get down on your knees and beg your mother to forgive you. You beg your mother to forgive you for being a twit... She did exactly the right thing... You’re a lucky girl. Stop acting like a complete brat. She could have stayed with that bastard she made you with.” 

As a response to the “Dr. Laura'' call and similar incidents, members of several online communities have joined together to form The Coalition for Genetic Truth (CGT), an organization that includes 27 support groups with combined membership totaling over 105,000 people. 

Direct-to-Consumer DNA testing kits offered through popular online platforms such as Ancestry.com and 23andMe have opened the door to exposing family secrets that can often be traumatic for individuals and the families affected. When the DNA results arrive and are filtered and matched to genetic relatives in these powerful DNA matching databases, some consumers discover that one or both of the parents who raised them are not a biological parent. Surprise DNA discoveries often result in emotional trauma, identity crises, and even rejection from mothers, the father that raised them, adoptive family members, and/or the biological family that some people desire to connect with. Such discoveries may reveal long buried family secrets; including  (1.) Unexpected paternity, a situation that is known as a “Non Paternal Event” or “Not Parent Expected” (NPE). These discoveries may shed light on extramarital affairs, one night stands, or even sexual assaults. (2.) Parentage that reveals that an individual is a “Donor Conceived Person (DCP)” through artificial insemination; (3.) Late Discovery Adoptees (LDAs) - People who have discovered, as an adult, that they are actually adoptees without their parents or guardians ever having informed them.

Our community members encompass all three categories of the individuals described above, and our interactions and support groups indicate that people in all categories are frequently subjected to shame and stigma by known family members and/or genetic relatives in the aftermath of these discoveries. Rather than receiving explanations, support, apologies or acceptance, these personal genealogy researchers are often met with rejection and displaced blame by the parents who kept their genetic identity a secret. In a time when medical science has made great advances in preventive medicine, the health insights alone can benefit these individuals and their offspring for generations to come. Conversely, the shock of discovering that one’s parentage is not aligned with previously held beliefs about family identity can be an emotionally devastating experience. Such shocking discoveries require sensitivity and understanding, particularly from members of the mental health community who are bound, through their professional credentials, to the American Psychological Association’s Hippocratic Oath of “Do No Harm”. 

A large number of our community members, themselves in similar situations as that of “Torri,” felt personally assaulted and demeaned by Schlessinger’s abrasive and thoughtless comments that were clearly derived from Schlessinger’s own opinions rather than a thoughtful empathy for a suffering person who sought help in the midst of her confusion and emotional trauma. Simply put - our CGT community expressed an outpouring of compassion for “Torri,” since most of our own genetic revelations were discovered by accident. Together, we reject the idea that “Torri” is a ‘twit’ or that we ourselves are less than deserving of human empathy, by extension. Like “Torri”, most of our community members did not set out to discover these life changing truths, but instead were suddenly faced with them because of a simple commercial DNA test and the corresponding genetic results that surprised us. As a community, we are offended and deeply concerned that a licensed practitioner in the mental health community uses her media platform to abuse traumatized individuals for the purpose of obtaining ratings. In Schlessinger’s response to “Torri,” she has done harm to our own community’s mission to improve acceptance of our problematic situations in the broader societal communities in which we must reside and interact. 

Together, we are demanding that Schlessinger formally apologize to “Torri” and people like her, and withdraw her abusive and emotionally destructive comments.  As a licensed professional in the state of California, Schlessinger has a professional, moral, and ethical responsibility to treat the individuals seeking her counsel - including callers to her radio program -  with respect and basic human dignity.  To that end, CGT is in the process of reaching out to professional associations to denounce Dr. Laura’s behavior on the “Torri” call. We feel strongly that she has failed this human being and millions of listeners on this front. We wholeheartedly reject Schlessinger’s remarks and the supposed ‘ethics’ she claims to uphold as she markets herself as “offering no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics, accountability and personal responsibility.” Her abusive treatment of “Torri” has incited a rallying cry for the global community of people who have been denied the right to their genetic identity. Schlessinger’s attitude toward “Torri” targets everyone who has ever been abused, dismissed and victimized by genetic deception. We ask that Schlessinger publicly apologizes not only to “Torri,” but to the millions of people who have been triggered, offended and psychologically harmed by her abusive treatment of this innocent woman who sought Schlessinger’s “expert” advice and was instead subjected to public denunciation for doing so.

We, the undersigned, are deeply concerned and outraged by comments made by Dr. Laura Schlessinger on her July 7, 2020 “Call of the Day” and we request support from the public in our call for action. 

The call can be heard here in its entirety: Podcast

For more information…

https://www.facebook.com/groups/genetictruth/

genetictruth@gmail.com

Note: Our adoptee brothers and sisters who have known this trauma their entire lives have joined with us in mutual support for our cause. We acknowledge their lifelong adoptee trauma, whether or not they are in or out of the fog, and appreciate their efforts of advocacy throughout the years.  For our community, adoptees are an inspiration to our community’s cause.